Car accident survivors?
My name is John and I am a car accident survivor. I am curious about others’ experiences, both immediately after their accidents and in the longer term. Anyone care to share their thoughts?
#1
#2
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am a survivor of a head on colision with both cars going about 60 MPH. I have my two boys in the car with me. When the EMS arrived, they called two helecoptors. One for my boys and one for me and the personl who hit me. We all survived. I had lots and lots of very severe nightmares for many months. I still have some lingering PTSD symptons.
#3
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in a one vehicle accident where I was ejected, then my car landed ontop of me, pinning me underneath the exhaust. I was life flighted and stayed 8 weeks in the hospital. I have taken everything well, to my surprise. I think my sence of humor got me through everything. I did have some PTSD about 4 months afterwards, but I’m pretty well adjusted to my new normal now.
#4
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Ive posted my story on forumn
#5
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am one who was hit by a van while standing at a pedestrian crosswalk and the van was hit by a hit and run. My head went through the windshield and left side messed up and pulverized left knee and head took another blow hitting the pavement 50 feet away. I have had many problems with dealing with Complex PTSD and TBI-Traumatic brain Injury. I take life moment by moment. I am thankful for Vanderbilt as they have helped me before. I just hope they will use my UNIQUE case to find help for the soldiers. My left amygdala and hippocampus was removed in 1999 and then i was hit 1 and 1.2 years later and now have very hard time processing emotions. Escapeartist because I escape through my art.
#6
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I just posted my story, but I’ll give just a little of it here. I was in a car accident with my boyfriend. He was passing a car on a double yellow line. We passed them and we were fine, then Zak lot control, we hit a ree doing over 70 mph. To make a long story short, a string of little miracles happend for me to be here. I ended up breaking breaking both tibia and fibula in my legs, both femurs, my left leg was compound which means the break came through the skin and my left leg was also de-gloved which means that all the “meat” was torn off. My right leg was a crush injury. I broke my pelvic bone in 2 places, 3 of my 5 fingers in my right hand, and my C2 vertebrate was completely broken, which is also called “The Hangman’s Fracture” and I should have died instantly. But I didn’t.
Zak broke his left arm, his right shoulder was dislocated, he broke his right leg, and ankle, and he had a ruptured spleen and massive head trauma. The doctors did everything they could for him, but God had other plans. Zak passed away around 3:30 am.
I have had 16 surgeries to rebuild and reattach my legs, I have rods, plates, screws, and anchors and I was in trauma for 2 weeks, trauma step-down for 4 weeks, children’s 4 weeks, and Stallworth for 4 weeks.
I see a therapist every other week and I am taking Zoloft. It has taken me a long time to get where I am, and i still have a long way to go, like the lady said before me, its no longer day to day, its moment to moment. I still have mornings where i wake up and reach for my phone to text him, then reality hits and i realize he wont answer…and its tough & as of right now that whole time heals all wounds is a load of crap because it hurts just as bad then as it does now.
#7
Reply: Car accident survivors?
You are very courageous ESCAPE ARTIST! I have had a hard time doing any artwork after my brush with death. I guess I just have to get working! -John
#8
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Wow, you must have an Angel like me! I didn’t suffer from any post stress after my accident but feel I may be 2 years later. Who did you talk to? -John
#9
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hope this gets to jonahjay…Yes, I cannot afford an art therapist and they do not take medicare and I was told by an art therapist and the therapist I see now who I think much of, says the same, my art speaks volumns and please, let things out through your art. Writings. I write and do not know what I have written till I put the pen down. Was given a book to use a pen and ink and write my writings and do a little illustration. I know you can do it!! From one artist to another!! Escape artist~came from the fact that I ESCAPE through my ART! Cindy
#10
Reply: Car accident survivors?
johanajays~ I do not know if you live here in Nashville. I could tell you my therapist and a book that helped me so much when I found out a year after being hit by the van, that I HAD PTSD only now it is Complex PTSD. You can develop it later. Again, I will be glad to talk to you and I tried to send you my email address and hope that you get it. NEVER give up. We are fighters and still here for a reason and I love helping others and making cards for them and helping people at the hospital. Escape Artist~ cindy
#11
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I wanted to hear what book you were talking about, b/c I, too, have developed PTSD with nightmares and waking up every morning afraid. Please message me or post the name of the book you were talking about.
#12
Reply: Car accident survivors?
A vehicle crossed the center line, hitting my vehicle, square head-on, resulting in 35+ bones fractured in hundreds of place and TBI. I was in ICU for 1 week, Trauma floor for 4 weeks, Rehab hospital for 5 weeks, then 6 weeks of 24/7 care provided in my home. I did not drive for 444 days. My vehicle has adaptive equipment so I can drive. Mostly, I am doing very well: excellent drs, PTs, psychotherapist, case manager, and GOD. I long to talk with others who are survivors of trauma resulting from auto accidents. I feel very isolated emotionally. Others do not understand & I distance myself due to others who offer “care/concern” turn into telling me about someone who is worse off than me. I know others are worse; I was in a rehab hospital. I saw others who are worse.
I was a marathon runner prior to this accident 5 yrs ago. Rather ironic, that on the day of the Boston Marathon bombing I found this website referenced in an online report. My heart is numb & broken for those who were harmed during that phenomenal event. Some may never run again, either. I know what it is like to have something that you love doing robbed from you.
I hope people respond to each other here! This is a test . . . . . .
#13
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Angeela – thank you so much for posting your story. I think people can loose sight of how long the recovery process can be. Your story is truly inspirational, and I hope you find the support here you need. The online Next Steps program can also be very useful in managing life after trauma.
#14
Reply: Car accident survivors?
KatParris, Thank you.
#15
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi,
I don`t know how long ago you`re accident was, but it sounds like you have been through a lot! I am also a trauma survivor, and I also broke both of my femurs, my ankle in two places, my hip, my elbow. Also had a compound break to one of my femurs as well as shattering the knee. My left knee was just smashed into the dash with severe scarring, but no shatter. Also tore some tendons. Sounds like we both had very similar injuries… How are you recovering?
#16
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Ginak94 :-)
The accident was Jan 22, 2008. I live in MI. I am recovering amazingly well. I continue PT & have learned that I have to do water aerobics not to be stiff and more painful. How about you? Were you driving the vehicle at the time of the accident? Wondering because of your left knee receiving so much impact. I was driving and my right knee was severely injured. A significant portion of my femur remained embedded in the plastic covering underneath the steering wheel. It was severed from my leg. That patella was shattered; I have no patella on my right leg. I just had knee replacement + ORIF removal + bone graft (a portion of my femur had not regrown since 5 yrs ago) surgery in Jan of this year. I am grateful for no more pain in that knee when walking!
My right ankle sustained a pilon fracture and has internal fixation. My right toes have smart toe implants :-) I had multiple bilateral femur, tib/fib, ankle, and foot fractures, as well as multiple fractures in both hands/fingers, left radius & ulna, both with internal fixations. Some of these fractures were compound. Also, right rib #1 and several spinal fractures. And to top it all off, one tooth :-) Needless to say, post traumatic arthritis everywhere. Fortunately, I use very little pain meds. I use CAM (acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, rolfing, etc) & diet to manage most of the pain. For my right ankle, I receive a spinal block every 6-8 weeks (otherwise, I would be unable to walk due to the pain). There are a few more surgeries, down the road, when I can no longer manage the pain.
Seems I am noticing that some hospitals have a TSN peer program. There are none listed in MI. Do you participate in a TSN program where you live?
Thank you so very much for contacting me – I’m sure you know how isolating it can be if you know no one with a similar experience. You look so vibrant in your picture!
#17
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Angeela,
It sounds like you have been through a lot of pain and recovery, it sometimes helps me to think about how much we have all gotten through and it helps me in hard times. It is hard not really having anyone to talk to that truly understands. I didn`t even realize how great it felt to be on here until I joined. It actually does help a lot to know and communicate with others that had traumatic experiences. Only those who were there for support or those who experienced it themselves truly understand. I`m very glad I joined this site. I am about to go to the training class on May 16th, I will let you know how it goes. I am very excited to be a part of the rebuild program.
#18
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I came upon this site on accident, and I’m honestly glad I did. I suppose I should share my story, because after reading the many amazing ones already, I feel like many of us have so much in common.
In January of 2007, a week before my college semester started, two of my best friends (Matt and Jerm) and I thought we should visit another friend who was going to a college about 2 hours away from us. His semester was about to start as well, and we thought a good start to the school year would be one last party session together.
We left around 10pm at night (never a good idea) on a Friday night. After we spent a few hours there, we realized we probably shouldn’t stay, as all 3 of us were in agreement on that. Matt and I had nothing to drink that night, but our friend Jerm has several beers, and was out like a light. So we dragged him into Matt’s car, put him in the passenger seat, and drove off heading back to our town.
Now this is around 3am in the morning, I end up falling asleep in the middle seat of the back of Matt’s ’96 KIA Sportage. I asked Matt if he would be ok, he said he would be fine, blasting his music loud and having the windows rolled down during winter was a plan he used several times to stay awake during long drives. By this time, Jerm was starting to fall asleep, but muttering so incoherently that Matt stayed awake being entertained by it.
Next thing I know, I feel like I’m moving 360 degrees, in a rough circle, like on a roller coaster ride. I smiled, because honestly, I thought it was a dream. But then I heard this awful crunching and bending sound, like how a large crane sounds when it is operating on rough terrain. I tried to open my eyes, because I realized I wasn’t dreaming, but couldn’t. Somehow, my eyes just wouldn’t open, which terrified me more than anything else (they had actually swollen shut from the immense centrifugal force). Then, the spinning and turning stopped, and immediately, I felt pressure on my chest…like a heavy chester drawer had just been left on me.
From then on, I heard my friend Matt screaming, yelling…in a pitch I never recall him using, and I swear to God I never want to hear again. I tried to call out to him, to tell him I was “OK” and needed help getting out, but all I could muster was a weak whisper. I realized I was upside down, and that my seatbelt had jammed into the lock…there was no unbuckling it at all…it just wouldn’t budge.
He happened to get a trucker to stop, I remember hearing the guy pull over. Within 5 minutes, an off-duty cop (who just so happened to be ending his shift), was there, talking to me. He reached under, grabbed my hand, and told me that I would be fine, he’s with me, and that help was on the way. All he needed for me to do was to give him some information if I could. I rattled off 16 different phone numbers…parent’s house phone, their cell phones, my sister’s phone, my grandparent’s phone numbers…any number my brain could generate in this panic but could never do in a peaceful situation.
The police officer held my hand, telling me that they would need to cut me out, and that I had to stay still and not panic. He would stay with me through it all. As I held his hand, I couldn’t help but notice he had a wedding ring on. God, that seriously hurt me more than anything. This guy probably had children…and if he didn’t have children, he more than likely would eventually…and that tore me up inside in such an awful way. To have kids, and then see one completely torn up, I just couldn’t imagine how long that is going to stay with him.
Anyhow, I remember hearing this incredibly loud, painful, rusted metal sound…like when you open an old truck’s door, and close it. The last thing I remember is four guys pulling me out, and I was out like a light.
After I woke up two weeks later, I found out that I had broken 7 ribs, damaged my peroneal nerve in my right leg, broke my fibula (apparently that caused my nerve damage), tore my ACL in my right knee, collapsed both lungs, had 2nd degree burns on my waist (that’s right…a seatbelt can do that), damaged 3 ft of my small intestine, a 6 inch gash on my right foot from the car’s window glass falling into my shoe, and flatlined for 3 and a half minutes on the operating table.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 months on and off; I had to return because scar tissue had formed in my intestine from the surgery, and caused me immense pain. Making my total surgeries from January to March at 5 surgeries. It took me a year of rehabilitation to learn how to walk again, as they told me I would never do because of the extensive nerve damage in my right leg. One of the nurses had actually told my parents (mistakenly) the day of the 20th that I had passed away, and they actually gave them my personal belongings. Needless to say, they were quite angry.
I still have trouble with what happened to this day; my memory is very bad, I have terrible anxiety in social settings, I feel overwhelmed by simple things, I get irritated easily by things I’m not familiar with, I’m quick to get angry over things that never bothered me before (mainly at myself), and a few other things I can’t recall at the moment.
Also, the worst part is I can’t identify with anyone…I don’t really have a lot of people I can talk to without them thinking I’m suicidal. I’m actually not a depressive person, but the past few years, I just want to get it out, because it’s been sheer pain and horror bottling it in. My family doesn’t understand, when I try to talk about it, they think I’m crazy or they change the subject…or they just talk over me altogether. My parents have been good to me, don’t get me wrong, they were there for me and supported me through it all (especially my mother), but they just don’t know to connect with me on it. I don’t blame them, how could they know how to if I don’t even know how?
My humor is the only thing I can rely on…because even though I bury the pain with humor temporarily, it’s a positive band aid, and not causing the wound to reopen, but not really causing it to heal either.
I know it may sound like I’m not thankful, but I eternally am. I couldn’t imagine the pain I would have had my family endure due to my careless decision of going out so late on a Friday night, driving 2 hours to a “college town” on a wimb.
It’s just painful to carry this with me when I’m trying to move on. There’s not one day that goes by that I don’t think about it…I’ve got the scars on my stomach, chest, and foot to prove it and remind me. I don’t believe I have PTSD in the traditional sense…I was actually driving 2 weeks after I returned home, and felt fine doing it (and still do).
However I know there are other forms of PTSD that give me the issues I currently have.
I wanted to post this to let everyone know I am here too, and that I feel exactly as you do. I am truly astonished by your stories, how you survived, and your own personal strength. Although we may not be the same people, our similar events somewhat tie us together.
Thanks for reading this long post, and I appreciate any feedback all of you may have for me. Have a great one!
Dan
#19
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi dwill,
Thank you for sharing your struggles and growth in spite of those struggles! I understand feeling disengaged from people. No one would really know it bc I am “socially polite”. Whenever I honestly share how I am doing (rarely anymore) whoever asked me appears to glaze over and change the subject. It is true, that unless you’ve experienced it, you cannot truly understand it. Even though, those here, have “experienced it,” our “it” has its uniqueness. The feeling due to “it” are very much shared/similar.
I, also, use laughter to get me through. In fact, I became a Certified Laughter Yoga Teacher so that I can heal while teaching others how to use laughter for healthy living. (“yoga” only refers to breathing, not poses (-: )
The accident you were in was one year before the accident I was in. I admire your spirit of “proving them wrong” – returning to life, walking, determined to fully heal.
Even though I have no memories of the accident & few memories of the 7 weeks post-accident, I have PTSD. I’ve been to a few counselors. EMDR was wonderful in helping me stop feeling paralyzed when experiencing a flashback. I need to do some grief work, but haven’t found a counselor who seems comfortable when I begin to cry. Cognitive-Behavioral is good for some issues, but I need someone who can “be with me” in a professionally, caring, supportive way, to allow me to grieve losses. I believe this will help me begin to feel engaged around others, especially my family. Thankfully, my children are young adults, who live a significant distance from me so I do not have to manage this tension around them.
dwill, do you live near one of the hospitals which offers TSN groups? I don’t. I want to find out how to get this program supported/offered by the Level 1 Trauma hospital in my area.
Blessings to you, dwill!! Stay connected here (for my sake, as well as, yours), please.
Angēla
#20
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Angeela,
Thank you for your kind reply and words of encouragement! Right, as am I, “socially polite”. There are just some things people can’t talk about because they really don’t know how. I agree, the exact event is different, but the experience is the same…pain, suffering, fear…all of those feelings absorbed at one time is such an explosive experience for the mind to take.
Hahah, “Certified Yoga Laughter Teacher”! I like that! :) Laughter is really the only thing that kept me going through the process. I hated seeing people cry, even though I completely understood, it tore me apart seeing everyone I loved cry so much over something I did. Jokes and pranks helped soothe the pain for everyone involved though.
Thank you very much! It was a rough process, and still is. I really didn’t have a choice in trying to return to a “normal life”. I would rather walk with a limp around my house then sit in a state of mental decay in a hospital bed. Being in a hospital really is a depressing experience…seeing others die in ICU a few feet away from me, always having needles piercing my skin, throwing up, constantly in a massive state of disarray…hallucinations…it’s all so much to take in, and that isn’t the half of it. Fighting my way through that was the most challenging thing I will ever do in my life, and I hope I never have to again. I almost lost my sanity in that place.
That’s great that EMDR worked for you, I hear it really is a successful way to tackle PTSD. I’m right there with you on the “grief work”…I don’t feel I’ve fully expelled that from my mind. Maybe I never will. That’s one thing I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable doing…talking to a counselor or a psychiatrist. I feel, unless they had something similar happen to them, it’s hard for them to empathize appropriately. Basically, I’m not trying to bash the craft of it, but it’s difficult for anyone to understand what we go through when they have never walked the path. Similar to giving an American architect a Russian blueprint of a building. Not a lot to go off of, especially if the language isn’t the same. And like you said, someone having some type of compassion for it, truly grieving with you instead of trying to. I’m right there with you.
I’ve tried to look for some, I just don’t know really where to start to be honest. I don’t have medical coverage, and really have no money to invest in such a thing. Plus, I’m very picky about who I talk to…I don’t like going into detail about it to a person I’ve never met, not really due to lack of empathy, but more so the fact that I will begin breaking down, having a crying episode. I would love to try to get some kind of program set up for people who have been through experiences like this, run BY people who have been through the same and know how to treat the root of it all.
Thank you Angeela! Honestly, I greatly appreciate your feedback. I will be here for you and anyone else who wants to talk about their feelings and experiences. That’s what all of us are here for anyway, right? :) I look forward to speaking to you more! God bless.
Dan
#21
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Dan you are very strong! What you are feeling is just what I have felt and I am sure many others. I think you should continue to tell your story, it has helped me know that I am not alone in the ‘strange’ way I feel.
#22
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was a passenger in a MVA. The driver drove straight into a tree. I sustained a TBI. I was left with global amnesia- didn’t have a clue who I was for many monthsa and developed a new personality. I have most all frontal lobe defecits and PTSD. All my friends went their separate ways because they could no longer relate to me, family certainly doesn’t understand me. I have the difficulties in social setting that I never had before and people often try to take advantage of me.
#23
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Dear Natalie,
Surviving is hard work. “Recovery” (therapies) is hard work. Healing is hard work. Grieving is hard work. Maintaining supportive relationships is hard work. And it seems you have an extra burden of dealing with a different person(-alitiy) post-accident. You are a hard worker, lady!! I hope you have doctors and therapists who are supportive of you and all the hard work you are doing. When was your accident? How old were you the? Not exact age, rather, were you in school, have children/family, have a job, etc? When trauma occurs, ALL areas of one’s life is disrupted, not just one aspect.
I’m glad you found TSN. You are NOT alone!!!! I know it may take time for people to respond. I know I’ve been struggling with disorganization & completing tasks lately. Barometric pressure changes greatly affect my pain level and mental functioning. There have been several rain & thunderstorms where I live in the past few weeks. Today was a PERFECT day & it seemed like all the cells in my body were in sync & connecting in harmony! Totally glorious day! Now, if only I can find a place to live where this kind of barometric pressure day is the norm :-)
I a grateful to “meet” you, Natalie. You help me not feel alone, also.
Blessings Abound!
Angela
#24
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Natalie, thank you! I do like to talk about it, but only to people who do understand, just as you were saying. Your injuries were far worse than mine, so I’m very happy to know you and that you survived, despite all of the struggles you are still going through. I know it can be such a personal hell sometimes…because the only person that seems to know is you. I totally understand that.
I am soooo socially inept around people I don’t know, and I never used to be like that.
#25
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hey, Dan!
I agree re: difficulty finding a therapist who “gets” the complexity of trauma we are surviving. I’ve been to a few and they’ve been good ….. until I cry. Then, they shift into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and interrupt my grieving. That is very frustrating! I have an appt on Mon w a “new” therapist. If this one shuts me off, not sure what I’m gonna do :( I know what I need and I’m willing to do the difficult work, but I need a “safe” person, one I trust to hear my heart, who isn’t uncomfortable w me crying. So much grief that seems stuck and it’s more than I can address on my own. It’s like I need a “witness”.
Check out http://laughteryoga.org/club/find_club In the blue box on the right side are telephone and online laughter club options, too. There are no yoga “poses” involved. The “yoga” part is about the breathing – taking deep breaths of oxygen, which happens naturally when laughing. LY is totally therapeutic: physically, mentally, spiritually. Even though that accident created many life changes (as well as a divorce a couple yrs ago), LY helped me cross a bridge into JOY … an abiding peace despite circumstances or feelings. I was trained by Dr. Madan Kataria during his last USA training – such a gentle, humble, loving man.
I hope you are well! Do you have chronic pain? If so, what helps? I’m always looking for more non-pharm pain mgmt tools. The weather in W MI today was astounding! PERFECT!!! I was early for appts, not rushed, remembered all I needed to remember, no significant pain, felt balanced energy coursing through my body … just amazing! I am grateful for days like today!!! I hear Yuma, AZ & HI are the places in US where the barometric pressure is most stable. I keep considering if I want to move to either of those places. Would be difficult moving across the country alone not knowing anyone there. Not impossible, though ;)
Many blessings, Dan!!
#26
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Totally agree with that, Angeela. It’s weird to grieve one minute, then in an instant, the therapist begins giving you test questions…it plays with your emotions and doesn’t allow you to tackle the problem, if anything, it throws off your attempts to deal with it properly. I can truly understand how confusing and frustrating that is.
I hope your new therapist works out for you, and I will give you kudos for continuing to try to confront your trauma as opposed to shielding yourself from it. “I need a witness”…EXACTLY how I feel. It would be great to talk to a therapist that is a “witness”…one who not only sees the accident through your eyes, but has dealt with a horrific event just like your own or similar. I would like to meet one that would actually let me cry it out, and soothe me somewhat, because it is A LOT to hold in, especially if you don’t know how to deal with it. Crying is incredibly liberating…although I don’t like to do it often, when I have done it, it’s a small release from the pressure that my emotions constantly push on my conscience.
Thank you for the link, I will check it out!
I’m doing ok, wish things were going better but they’re not worse, so I shouldn’t complain. How are you?
I do have chronic pain…in my knee (probably because I still have a torn A.C.L) and mainly my back. Nothing else really bothers me bad enough like my back does. I feel like there’s a mass amount of pressure in it. Sometimes, when I turn in my sleep, I’ll wake up due to a lightning streak of pain hitting me; my left shoulder blade digs right into some nerve running along my back. I know it’s a nerve because the pain is too deep to heal through medication or topical ointments. It’s incredibly painful, and scares me out of my sleep a few nights a week. It could be worse, but it doesn’t feel great either. When I was in the hospital, they were more concerned with keeping my heart going and making sure I was stabilized after my intestinal issues, than my back. I don’t believe any kind of MRI or X-ray was completed on my back. Other times I’ll just get terrible headaches.
The only thing that really helps is the sauna at my gym. I stay in there, after working out, for about 20 minutes. When I get out, I feel a little dizzy, but my joints are so alleviated from pressure and pain…it’s amazing. That feeling will last most of the day too. I guess the humidity and heat are the trick for my uncomfortable pain problems. Have you tried staying in a sauna before?
The main issue right now is how terrible my short term memory has become…my long term memory isn’t great, but it’s a vast difference from my short term. I’ll literally forget something 5 seconds after someone tells me…or an errand I had to run gets lost in my thoughts somewhere. It’s aggravating and embarrassing. It’s not just memory, it’s cognitive thinking too…like trying to remember a simple task, such as a password for my computer or operating my dvd player (which isn’t advanced in any way).
I’m glad you had such a great day! Having so many rough ones makes me appreciate the very few that I do have. I don’t have a terrible life, but having to make sure I remember everything is such a burden on me…it hurts my head, and brings on headaches as well, sometimes migraines. I’ve heard AZ and HI are great for that too. I actually have a friend that convinced his parents to move down here from Vermont…his dad has MS, so cold temperatures are not helping him at all. When his father visited last year, I remember him telling me, “I love this warm weather you have here in North Carolina.” I was so happy to know just a change in weather helped him manage his pain, instead of medication (which doctors seem to love to recommend, as opposed to acupuncture, herbal therapy, massages, etc) which could have negative side effects.
After hearing him say that, and now actually using the sauna, I can understand why he feels so strongly about warmer climates, although I’m not a fan of them, lol (I prefer cooler climates!).
Angeela, thank you so much for posting. I hope we can continue this dialogue, it is helping me a little more every day knowing someone feels exactly as I do! It would be great if we could have more people jump in too…nice to divulge common experiences to more and more people. Take care of yourself!
Dan
#27
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Dan, briefly for now….I didn’t sleep last night, so falling asleep finally tonight (Melatonin).I was born in NC, Winston Salem and lived in several places there. NC is a beautiful state, but the humidity is stifling to me. I live in MI and the cold isn’t the issue so much as the frequent barometric pressure changes since we are surrounded by major lakes, esp Lk MI. My goal for in a few hrs is water aerobic (helps immensely), acupuncture, and then a trike/bike rally/concert. www.terratrike.com I have a Zoomer and LOVE it. Pre-accid, I was a marathoner. Now, I am a triker :) OK, I could go on & on & on. I really enjoy talking with people who suffer and actively work for improved quality of life. At times, all I can see is the end of life (not suicidal) and that the end is hastening due to diminished quality of life. Good night, Dan! Good night, Natalie! Good night, Moon!
A
#28
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Thanks for posting your story – I too have had the experience of being told about those worse off than me (I have two lower leg crush injuries). But usually that just makes me feel guilty for feeling bad at all, and I think I’m a bit entitled to my blue moments. Hope that rehab is going smoothly.
#29
Reply: Car accident survivors?
For some reason, I am unable to “reply” to your post, Staceyloomis. This appears as a “New Post”
Hi Stacey,
Sometimes, I think that due to the experience(s) from the auto accident, I have far more compassion for others who are in pain & therefore want to offer to them what I long for others to offer to me (compassionate listening w/o upstaging or comparing or guilting, or etc). I choose to pay it forward. And sometimes, I, also, need to feel blue – ok, this reminds me of a funny saying: If you’re feeling blue …. breathe. :-) There are many losses incurred as a result of such serious, traumatic injuries. It seems as though the counting of the losses seems endless.
Blessings to you!!
#30
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Angeela,
I just want to thank you for all your posting! I really identify with a lot of your what your going through. I too have isolated myself because I don’t have the energy to pretend that I’m okay when I’m not. People really don’t want to hear how much I still struggle, it makes them uncomfortable I guess.
I’m have been doing EMDR for months now but I’m not sure how much it has helped. I seem to be “stuck”. It’s still too traumatic for me to think about, It’s almost like I can still smell the fumes and hear the crunching metal. I’m not going to give up though. My therapist is great and has taught a lot of exercises to help with anxiety/depression including laughter. :)
I’m also a Michigander! How has the weather affected you? Everyone keeps telling me to move down south.
I hope you are well! You and everyone else on this site have been an inspiration to me. Thank you!!
#31
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am a survivor! Not only from the accident but from the injuries I sustained. I am a fully functional C5/C6 quad. I am walking, driving, taking care of my family and myself just like I did before my car accident. It’s been 3 years and I am still making strides.
#32
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi everyone,
My name is Sam and I am an MBA student at Willamette University. My sophomore year of college my mother was rear-ended at a stoplight and nearly paralyzed. The driver of the car made no effort to stop at all, and crashed into her at about 40 mph. Her injuries required multiple surgeries, and significantly changed her life as well as causing my family a great deal of stress. We are still currently involved in a lawsuit against the other driver’s insurance company, which falsely claims that some of my mother’s injuries existed previously.
Observing the grief that this ordeal has caused my family, I have dedicated myself to making this process easier for my family and others, and am currently developing a product that I believe would greatly reduce the amount of time and stress put on a family during a lawsuit. I would greatly appreciate it if you would take the time to answer several short questions if you were also involved in a lawsuit. I goal for this product is to make the process easier for families to deal with, and to help you or your family and friends.
My Questions are:
1) What three things were the most difficult aspects of working with your lawyer?
2) Were legal issues responsible for causing a significant amount of stress in your life?
3) What was it like dealing with insurance companies?
4) What was the process of collecting necessary information for your attorney like?
5) If one thing could have made process of working with your lawyer easier, what would that have been?
6) What was the process like of relaying information to your lawyer?
If you are interested in helping, please email your responses to swalters@willamette.edu. I hope that you will take 5 minutes of your time to answer these questions, so that I may help you fight for your cause.
Thank you,
Sam
#33
Reply: Car accident survivors?
neverlosehope I can’t find your private message.
#34
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am a car accident survivor, last January 23 2012, as I drive home from my 6 to 2 shift duty as a nurse, drowsiness is one thing i can already feel, not knowing the possible consequence of such, i still continued driving. Until that moment that changed my life forever. I slept and counterflows and got hit by a car, upon impact I noticed things, the strength of blood gushing from my face, and the chest pain that is immeasurable; i didnt lose consciousness so I gather myself and put pressure on my face and tried to breathe normally, luckily the patrol from that place saw the accident, i was then rush to the hospital, on my way i clearly knew that i lost my left eye, assessing the extent of my damage, that was the one thing that really burdens me up to this day. 15 minutes since the accident I passed out. When i woke up, i am happy but at the same time sad, happy because i survived the accident, sad because i had a craniotomy, lost my left eye, i have pneumonia and lost 30 percent of my front lobe. Up to this date im still undergoing surgery for my head, in total i had 5 now, the doctors said two more. Have i recovered, probably recovered is still too early for me, because i still have night dreams about the accidents and still recuperating to my damaged brain, but i think i have accepted it, im trying to move on, seeking Gods guidance I know i cqn do it
#35
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Dawn,
Today, I posted in this forum a FB post I wrote in October regarding how the (MI) weather affects me and what I’m learning as a result. I hope you can find it.
I hear you about EMDR. It doesn’t work for everyone; it did for me, slowly. People tell me that I am fortunate to have no memories of the auto accident. I think that’s an individual perspective. Probably if I did remember, I’d be wishing I couldn’t remember it. This year (5+ yrs later) grief is a major issue, for me. I am trying to remember when I started EMDR and cannot, for the life of me, recall when. I know I had severe reactions whenever I heard or saw emergency response vehicles soon after coming home from the hospital. But, I didn’t begin EMDR, until about 2 yrs ago, I think. Hearing &/or seeing the sounds &/or lights made me go numb & bawl, no matter how much positive self-talk I used. If I was driving, I had to pull over & call my Dad or a dear friend, both of whom agreed to be available any time to be present (on the phone – both were in NC) while I survived the moments. I know I asked my case managers for a referral to someone who provided EMDR, but until my present case mgr I had no professional help with the “flashbacks”. They were sensory flashbacks as I had no cognitive/visual memory of the accident. So, for three years (WOW – that is a long time), I suffered anytime / anywhere those stimuli were present. Even now, just typing the words “lights & sounds of emergency response vehicles” makes my skin tighten. Weird! Will this happen the rest of our lives? Will we need tune-ups with EMDR? As I was saying about dealing w/ grieving issues now, I wonder if doing the EMDR prior to grieving losses/changes delayed my ability to grieve. The first several years were totally consumed with functioning & learning to function in new ways that I didn’t (couldn’t?) focus time & energy on grieving. Or the grieving seemed blunted and stunted due to having to prepare a meal or clean the house or go to the next medical appointment.
Not all therapists are alike nor do all EMDR trained therapists do EMDR alike. The basic premise/theory is the same, but different techniques … kind of like “different strokes for different folks.” :-)
I lived in the south (NC) for a year, 19 months after the accident. I needed a new landscape – depression was sending me quite low. The barometric pressure changes, where I lived, seemed more severe than the ones here in MI. I lived in northeastern NC, just south of VA Beach and west of the OBX – right on the intercoastal waterway. A local meteorologist says that Yuma, AZ or HI are the two places of the US with the most stable barometric pressure. Both sound very appealing to me!! Yet, I know no one in either place. And, we really have it good in MI with the Auto No Fault Insurance + all my doctors are amazing healers!! I am very grateful for them! When I lived in NC, medical providers, except one (PT through the local hospital), made me pay up front for services because they could not comprehend that my ANFI would pay them, EVEN AFTER speaking directly with my claims adjuster. So, I paid for other medical services and submitted for (& received) reimbursement from my ANFI. Moving out of MI now seems cost prohibitive.
I am curious how you are doing now, a few months later, with the EMDR. I hope you are getting more relief.
Angeela
#36
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Training class on May 16th?? How was it? What are you trained to do?
I was so hopeful to get a TSN started in Grand Rapids, MI this year. Made all the connections & it seems my hospital will be a control group for not offering a TSN program for TWO YEARS!! They haven’t been offering it forever – isn’t that enough data to show that a program is needed? I understand research validity, etc ….. so, I wait patiently for a group to begin here …… in two years :-\
#37
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Dan,
How are you? I was “unable” to post anything for quite a while. Today, I finally realized that I have to Login in order to post. Somehow I forgot about that :-\
This year has been tough, for me. Seems I made much progress & continued improving, then had surgery in Jan (accident related) & haven’t recovered back to where I was. Battling depression is hard work – possibly more difficult than the physical recovery. Giving up is an option, but many people pray for healing for me & I don’t want to let them down. Haven’t dealt with the letting myself down part. I should write that down as a topic for my next therapy session!
I am curious how you are doing.
Angeela
#38
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Stacey,
Sorry if it seemed you were left without a reply. Today, I finally realized that the reason I’ve been unable to comment or post is because I have to Login! DUH!! :-\ Somehow I forgot, for a while.
I know that extra burden of not even bothering to tell people how you feel when they seem to care. For me, it seems eventually, they turn the direction of competing for who has the worst story or pain. Not a competition I care to join!!! I wish people would honestly state up front, “I know I’m supposed to ask how you feel, but really I don’t care. Here’s how I feel. And it is worse than you feel. And if I don’t feel worse than you, then I know of someone who knows someone who heard about someone who feels worse than you.” Sure would make my life & heart a lot better.
HOWEVER, not sharing how I feel makes me feel worse, too. Complicated dilemma. So far, my new therapist seems to do a good job of listening to me without telling me how she feels ;-)
Do you attend a TSN goup? If so, are participants empathetic or competitive?
Angeela
#39
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi,
Thank you for joining us. You seem very determined to meet each challenge you encounter. Your faith is a blessing to many, I’m sure!!
I imagine you want to return to your former life’s routines. I know I do. You have so much healing to do, right now. The seemingly never-ending surgeries require much of your energy to focus on healing.
Among many things, I was taking my last two pre-requisite classes to enter an accelerated second-degree nursing program when the auto accident occurred nearly six years ago. When I was in the rehabilitation hospital someone thought I was a nurse (I may have even said that due to taking so many medications or the person may have misunderstood what I said) because I knew so much about patient care (especially patient dignity). Then, of course, the word spread that I was a nurse and nurses began tip-toeing around me in how they cared for me. Finally, I figured out what was happening and straightened out the confusion. From the little I knew about patient care I was miserable in not being able to care for my own needs and having to depend upon others, the real nurses, for everything. I hope all the nurses and people caring for you treat you with the greatest dignity and loving care!!!
Angeela
#40
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi Angeela,
Thank you for posting. I’m doing fine. I still struggle with my memory and cognitive thinking…it’s always an uphill battle. Probably the brain damage the doctors said I would notice eventually as I move on with my life.
My body aches all of the time. I feel more than twice my age at times. I’m always tired. Work keeps me occupied, but on my days off, I notice the lethargy to a great extent.
My right knee, which I have yet to get surgery on, wants to give out on me. So, naturally, my left leg takes on the weight of what the right leg should be doing as well as its own job, making my stability a critical issue. Sometimes my feet are not sure where they want to go, and have difficulty working in unison. I’ll get spells of vertigo, and have almost induced falling accidents (especially when I descend a stair case) because of these issues.
My left side, under my rib cage, will give me grinding pains at times. My right side, next to my rib cage, gives me terrible stabbing pains at times.
The only thing that seems to remotely help with my energy is natural green tea. My energy levels are so low, but for a few hours at work, the naturally decaffeinated green tea I drink seems to pull me through my sluggish hours of the early morning.
Well, enough about my depressive progress, how are you doing? Anything benefiting you? Have you found some ways to battle your depression? I’m still having trouble with that. I was drinking a lot, every week up until 3 weeks ago. I would drink a bottle of rum in 2 days, and then drink a bottle of bourbon after that. I’m doing better with that though. I have a family history of alcoholism (my parents are the only members of their respective families who do not drink, thankfully) and I’m trying to be more aware of that every time I want to drink.
It’s just difficult. Life has never been the same for me after January 2007. This year, things have been better though. But they never will be like they were before that year. My parents treat me differently, my friends look at me in a confused way, the woman I love can’t be there for me, so we technically don’t exist. I don’t know, it’s just a lot for me to take in. In addition to that, my grandfather, who I loved greatly, passed away a week before my birthday this year, in October. And, three weeks ago, my grandmother, was put into the hospital due to a tumor on her aorta, cutting off blood flow and oxygen to her body. She has been in ICU for 2 weeks now.
When one thing goes right, 3 or 4 more awful things show up to stack the odds against me. I seriously can’t keep taking all of this. It’s just so much, and hardly anyone really knows. I try to hide it through drinking (up until 3 weeks ago), play on my Xbox to occupy my mind, get myself absorbed in work, or stay at the gym for a few hours to wind myself up in something positive.
So, what’s new in your life? I hope you’re doing the very best you can.
Dan
#41
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was involved in car accident. I had to take time off work as I had hurt my back and shoulder. After the accident I contacted Los Angeles car accident attorney for help. They helped in getting me everything I needed and brought my case to a close in an efficient manner.They made this entire process easy for me and informed me every step of the way.
#42
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was involved in an accident in July of 2011. I was rear-ended by a large commercial truck while sitting in traffic. I had a subdural hematoma and lots of bumps and bruises. Ended up with a long list of problems from head injury that I won’t bore anything with. Glad to find this site. Wish I’d known 3 years ago some of the issues I might have so I could have been a little better prepared.
#43
Reply: Car accident survivors?
tstout,
I find great encouragement on this site – chiefly, I am reminded that I am NOT alone!!!
Angeela
For some reason, I couldn’t reply to your post. I hope you see that someone responded.
#44
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Thanks Angeela! I did see it. The not feeling alone part is huge. I know for months and months I felt very isolated. No one understood what I was going through and because there were not outward appearances everyone assumed I must be doing great! Not so much. When your brain gets bounced around inside it kind of changes things up. Even I was tough on myself-I looked ok physically-why was I having all these problems…Boy, did I have a lot to learn.
#45
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I had a car accident due to which I had a severe whiplash injury. I had taken treatment my treatment from Whiplash treatment Chantilly, VA, Which gives me a lot of relief.
#46
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am so grateful I found this website and am very grateful to read everyone’s stories that they are so brave to share. I can honestly say that I was very unprepared for the journey to healing and how hard it would be and how many setbacks there would be. I have done fantastic according to my trauma therapist but I do understand every comment Ive read in these stories esp when people talk about the energy required in dealing with all the many different stages of grief we go through and the many different emotions and all the work there has been in getting another vehicle and gathering all the medical records and bills for insurance settlement purposes which means reliving it all over again every time a bill comes or I receive a phone call regarding the accident. I have been an RN for almost 20 yrs and am very strong mentally and have worked in psychiatric settings and still struggle with it every day but Im slowly rebuilding my life. One of the hardest realizations I came to was about five days after the accident and woke up to realize I will never be the same person that got up that morning to go to work. It has been two months and I am still figuring out what things I will no longer want to do, see, or deal with etc. People are very compassionate but unless you have been in this situation understanding is difficult.
#47
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I had just graduated from high school a week earlier with plans to attend college in Gainesville. But being a 17 year old kid, I was out drinking and at a party with friends. Long story short, my best friend who was staying at me house at the time, and myself were coming back home driving his pick up truck. He was driving reckless some of the way and we just kinda laughed at first. Roughly 30 seconds from the house, there was a 90 degree turn through this back road he decided to cut through. Glenn ( my best friend driving the truck ) started speeding up as we got closer to the turn. I told him to slow down, and the next thing I knew, we rolled over my side of the vehicle, about 7 times. Rolling over 4 mailboxes and a metal guard rail. Neither of us had seatbelts on, and I just held on to the oh shit bar and braced for impact. When the truck stopped rolling, I crawled out the window since the entire side was smashed in. I immediately started telling his name out, looking for him so we could get help. The next thing I knew, neighbors that heard the crash came outside and I saw a woman pointing towards the embankment of this ditch. I ran over and saw blood coming out of his ear and some on his head. I was screaming at him to wake up, hoping he was just unconscious. I called my mom who rushed over 2 minutes later. She arrived just before the paramedics showed up. They came up to check me out and I insisted I was fine and they needed to wake up Glenn. At which point I noticed the EMT cutting off my pants because from my knee down, the jeans on my right were soaked in blood. After repeatedly demanding to check on Glenn, I asked how he was and I got no response. A lot of it was a blur, but I still remember it like it happened yesterday. After that, I never got out of sarasota to pursue a college degree at UF. A lot of my friends abandoned me because I " was too depressing to be around" and to this date, I’ve not gotten over the crash, and never will. I have to put on an act like everything is fine the few times I do go out to try and socialize. I’ve basically lost any kind of self esteem or self worth I have for myself. I’ve never been able to live a " normal " life since. Nobody seems to understand or even care like they want to. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I miss Glenn Norris everyday and wonder what life would have been like if the whole incident had never happened. I’ve woken up nearly very night for 8 years due to having reoccurring flashbacks in my dreams.
#48
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Not to mention all of the guilt I felt, as though it was my fault. His dad asked me why I didn’t " kick his leg over and push the break" or " throw it in neutral ". I know he was just looking for someone to blame, but that’s had eaten away at me for years. I on occasion still blame myself and believe I was the person who should have died, instead of my friend. It’s incredible how one tragic event can change ones life in the matter of seconds. I’m now 26, and still haven’t " gotten over it " and probably never will. I just try and think about all the great memories we had together. I just wish there was some kind of support group locally in Sarasota that I could talk to people who can relate. Psychiatrists were no help at all, and anti depressants just made me suicidal. There’s no cure for this, but of I were able to talk to someone that could actually relate to, that would be a huge help.
#49
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Nickm88,
Don’t give up. Sometimes it may seem like the psychiatrists was no help, but it may be that the particular psychiatrist wasn’t the right match for you. It may seem impossible to keep trying when it feels like you’re not making any progress. But believe me you are entitled to a better life post-accident, which includes happiness and a sense of normalcy. Try to find a therapist that is trained specifically for helping people who suffered a trauma. I know that might seem impossible or too much work. I remember when I finally started trying to find a therapist to help me. It would have been so much easier to just do nothing. The right therapist can help process all the emotions you are feeling and bring a sense of normalcy to your life again. It can happen — believe me.
Katy
#50
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Survived
#51
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Angela and other Survivors,
For sharing your story, your strength, wisdom, and will power I thank you. We all share a common bond trying to recover as much as we can despite what happened to us. My car was hit by a large 250 size truck. The other driver’s truck was almost brand new and it had a black box that records data and speed. My lawyer got the insurance company to turn this box over to find his speed which was excessive for the obviously icy conditions .. Police lights, other wrecks, cars pulled over, everyone else going slow, it was raining and you could literally see the ice. The driver was just going too fast for those road conditions, but right now I’m really trying to focus on healing. My left shoulder and scapula needed surgery, plate, screws, and the whole deal. My neck C-6 is fractured and I’m still in a brace, but thankfully nothing is paralyzed. Otherwise, I had a broken hand, a sprained elbow, and scrapes etc but the shoulder is rough. The pain and swelling was real bad the first couple weeks and I could only sleep very fitfully even with 2 percocets. I eventually was prescribed ambien and decided to buy a new memory foam mattress with a whole bunch of really soft pillows. The mattress and pillows are incredible along with a very soft blanket. About a month after surgery I found a half a percocet and 2 ibuprophen work best every 4 hours. Ibuprophen and Acetaminophen(tylenol) are processed differently but I found ibuprophen works best. I’m in PT now which hurts but I’m cutting back on pain meds. I was also on the anxiety medicine buspirone, but it just made me numb and not comfortably and messed with my stomach so I stopped taking it. While I’ll never forget the truck coming at me, I hope to process it. Grind it down to sand. I’ll get another car and drive again once my shoulder and neck heal, maybe not perfect, but I survived and we all did. Now we got to heal as best we can. Some music that I listened to when it was really tough is by a band called Balmorhea specifically the song Baleen Morning from the album Rivers Arms. I’ll try to attach a link. Really helped me and still helps me, feel at ease. We can rebuild with smooth stones. All the best ..
http://youtu.be/TdEYVDzqOWE
http://youtu.be/CB2wPf8ffIQ
#52
Reply: Car accident survivors?
hhh
#53
Reply: Car accident survivors?
An accident with a large vehicle can cause severe injuries, amputations, broken bones, even death, etc.My friend had been through the car accident which results great loss to my friend.A survivor from Los Angeles helped my friend and took him to the hospital and also hired car accident lawyer for him to get compensation caused from the accident, and attend to medical bills and other financial liabilities.
#54
Reply: Car accident survivors?
My name is Beau and I survived a head on collision in 2010. It was my fault but the hardest reality I can’t seem to grasp is that the driver of the other vehicle died. I feel like I have blood on my hands everyday and have participated in self harming activities in hopes of numbing the pain. The stages of grief are all twisted and I keep going in and out of them like I have to live in those stages for the rest of my life. The only thing that has kept me from committing suicide on countless occasions is my cat, I know I can’t leave her behind but there isn’t happiness to be found on this earth yet for me:(
#55
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Beau- You have been through so much. Please know there is help when you feel helpless.
1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
#56
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi!
My name is Gabriellia. On October 10, 2015, my boyfriend and I were heading home from my cousin’s wedding. I let my boyfriend drive like always because I wanted to post something on Facebook since we had just spend a year and a half together. We were coming up on a two way stop. My boyfriend stopped and then proceeded to go, thinking it was a four way stop. I look up from my phone and see a white Sequoia headed right towards me. It hit us and we spun into a Volvo. I remember telling my boyfriend through tears that someone needed to call my mom and that all I wanted was my mom. I am 20 years old and all I wanted was for my mom to be there holding me and telling me everything was going to be alright. My boyfriend called my mom’s phone and my little sister answered, the last person I wanted to answer, as he is trying to tell her to go get my mom and tell her we had been in an accident, I can her my mom on the other end of the phone yelling, “Gabby! Gabby! Gabby!” through the tears and fear in her voice. The man in the Sequoia had gotten out and checked on us and called 911. Before I knew it, the officer was there and shortly after, so was my mom. She didn’t even turn off her truck before she ran to my completely totaled Nissan Sentra. The officer told her to back up but I didn’t want her to leave me. I just kept telling him “I want my mommy!”
#57
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I PRAY I am talking to a person who has found beauty in his/her world again. This is all new to me. But what we do today is what matters. We cannot change the past.
#58
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Polytrauma Survivor here. What would you like to know?
#59
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am from Michigan and looking for others from the State to Network with. Where in Michigan was your accident?
#60
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Loss of use is generally compensated, but I don’t understand why it took over seven weeks to get it fixed. Were you waiting for the insurance company to pay? Why didn’t you just collect from your own insurance company so you could get it fixed quickly? The other problem is that loss of income from Uber is somewhat speculative so the insurance company isn’t likely to be overly generous in its offer. Hire a good lawyer https://www.wesettle.com cause you insurance company need to pay some money for you.
#61
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Polytrauma. Pedestrian vs Auto. New to group
#62
Reply: Car accident survivors?
if you have some chilling experience with car accidents, follow http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/car-accident-essay-chilling-experience and check some more facts about this!
#63
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I don’t think that empathy is actually a good feeling because can really offend a person. Follow the link to read more about it http://bigpaperwriter.com/blog/empathy-essay
#64
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi all. I am recovering from a (non-car) accident that happened last summer, and I had a car accident in 1984 when I was young that changed my life forever. However, what I would like to address for now is that some of you have mentioned that professionals have difficulty witnessing your grief, and I would like to let you know that I have found CCI co-counselling to be a marvellous tool, in that it facilitates and supports the discharge of all types of emotions. cci-usa.irg. check it out!
#65
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was the passenger in a one vehicle accident in January of this year. The driver was was my boyfriend and father of my 2 year old son. We were arguing in the car, and I kept telling him to slow down…to spite me, he sped up and we hit a telephone pole. He walked away with no injuries. (More like ran away; he left me at the scene of the accident because he had been drinking and didn’t want to get in trouble.) My face broke the windshield. I made the mistake of not wearing my seat belt, and as double dose of bad luck, the airbags didn’t deploy. I was left standing in the middle of a corn field in the dark, by myself, with no idea of the extent of my injuries. I was admitted to the hospital, had a cat scan, and got a better grasp of what had really happened. My nose was in 11 pieces, my cheek bone had been completely pulverized, and I had a fractured left wrist. I was discharged the next day and had to wait 2 weeks for the swelling to go down before they would attempt to reconstruct my face. My wrist is almost completely healed and my nose, although a little crooked, is fine as well. However my left cheekbone is gone, my face is indented, and I’m having a really hard time coping with it. I don’t try to be vain, but it’s really painful to wake up one morning and you no longer look the way you used to. I can’t cover my injury, and the way people stared at me was too overwhelming, so I’ve since moved back in with my parents, and I don’t leave the house. I don’t function like a normal person anymore….I don’t know how to live the rest of my life hating the way I look.
#66
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was T-boned through my driver’s door about 3 years ago, and the whole thing was my fault. So I guess karma worked out the way it’s supposed to since the people that hit me got mostly minor injuries(?) Fractured the pelvis in four places, broke half of my ribs, had to get both lungs re-inflated, along with waaaayyyyy too many shards of glass in my head and arm, and a level 3 TBI. The TBI was actually the most physically painful part. I’ve got 2 seven inch screws through the pelvis, and quite the discomfort with car crashes or bad driving. I did a lot of physical therapy, with tape on the floor at my house (to practice my gait), various aided mobility (from wheelchairs to canes), and lots of puzzles reading and board games to fix the TBI problems. But all of it is on the constant upkeep. I gotta stay fit from the waist down and engaged from the neck up, but that’s not the worst deal ever.
#67
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi – this is a general take on my experiences with forums. Age and circumstance has much to do with relating with others. After close to fifty years since a wreck, I don’t find much improvement. While I was less in touch with what really occurred, I could fool myself into thinking I had a chance. As I unravelled the whole story, the incident was far worse then I imagined. So in answer to your question, I pose an idea……To refine the groups into a form where there are more like minded people, perhaps with addition of age and ComplexPTSD. People involved in the wreck can run circles around the school officials, police, insurance, lawyers and the severity of said wreck. The guys involved with my demise were successful at all obfuscations. Of course, the world of hurt was not accepted by my memory, so I couldn’t fight on even ground. Even friends of people responsible worked against me. I’d like to, and used to be more in a vein of upbeat and positive assessment. Beats a real downer of a story. I never used to blame the wreck for anything, and took it out on myself. Sorry if I lack specifics right now, but there are vast differences due to age, amnesia, and time that has passed since. Trauma is not a subject or illness easily broached, as it seems one has to go through an ordeal to have a sense of what occurs on so many levels. I’d really like to be inspirational, but from my history, most every endeavor went sideways in a big way. For this reason I cannot be impartial to the minutia from story to story, and don’t want to be a bring down for folks who may have a fighting chance. To cut through much of the reading that may have little perspective in search 100s of posts, I suggest a few key groupings which may not be appropriate for those looking for answers. This is one of the least treatable of conditions as the survivor is dealing with life, the depression experienced by family, such that in addition to amnesia the survivor may not want to expose people who can help by adding to their depression (as family is apt to take the news hard enough without asking one to interrupt various degrees of deceit from piers and associates).
#68
Reply: Car accident survivors?
There are many a tragic story here….worse than mine, or so I thought. Like I may have mentioned above, I’m 50 years into the mess created/ongoing, and I’m not have positive experience s…so don’t read if not your thing. I’ll post my story sometime, likely in the wrong fashion or adherence to the ways of forum speak. I read slow, and always have. A 15 year old left on the side of the roadside to die. I thought about it while bleeding out. Don’t know if I made the right decision but lunged out of the car. Life is not always miserable, other then lately, despite opulent surroundings. Occasionally I find stuff I write about noe that my memory and dectection of the willingness of those with me to le purposely allow me to die. Thanks to people’s honesty and long memories. This is one of my writings, which I haven’t checked insightful….. Hi – went thru windshield of safety glass which wrapped around my neck (40 years ago). Occupants forced me back into the car. Severe facial and dental damage. Amnesia of being left for dead and turning down help. Bothersome thought of being set up on purpose. Jumped from car, but truth never came out. Instead of blaming the accident for my subsequent decline, I didn’t know better, so took a dim view of myself for losing my foothold . That about sums it up, other then extracurricular actions of people not wanting me in the know and interfering on many levels. Had some decent experiences, but as a worker, not so much. I’m also kind of find situations where I have caused, or feel responsible for many a cluster duck (sorry, don’t know a better word to describe). There was an inept settlement, which I just knew from gut feeling. Many an institution were a detriment that are supposed to protect people. I’m 63, and after many lousy decisions and no time to fix being a dummy all these years (tho mostly pleasant),have been longing for my life to end my embarrassing lack of a future. Thank You for reading, Nathan
#69
Reply: Car accident survivors?
There are many a tragic story here….worse than mine, or so I thought. Like I may have mentioned above, I’m 50 years into the mess created/ongoing, and I’m not have positive experience s…so don’t read if not your thing. I’ll post my story sometime, likely in the wrong fashion or adherence to the ways of forum speak. I read slow, and always have. A 15 year old left on the side of the roadside to die. I thought about it while bleeding out. Don’t know if I made the right decision but lunged out of the car. Life is not always miserable, other then lately, despite opulent surroundings. Occasionally I find stuff I write about noe that my memory and dectection of the willingness of those with me to le purposely allow me to die. Thanks to people’s honesty and long memories. This is one of my writings, which I haven’t checked insightful….. Hi – went thru windshield of safety glass which wrapped around my neck (40 years ago). Occupants forced me back into the car. Severe facial and dental damage. Amnesia of being left for dead and turning down help. Bothersome thought of being set up on purpose. Jumped from car, but truth never came out. Instead of blaming the accident for my subsequent decline, I didn’t know better, so took a dim view of myself for losing my foothold . That about sums it up, other then extracurricular actions of people not wanting me in the know and interfering on many levels. Had some decent experiences, but as a worker, not so much. I’m also kind of find situations where I have caused, or feel responsible for many a cluster duck (sorry, don’t know a better word to describe). There was an inept settlement, which I just knew from gut feeling. Many an institution were a detriment that are supposed to protect people. I’m 63, and after many lousy decisions and no time to fix being a dummy all these years (tho mostly pleasant),have been longing for my life to end my embarrassing lack of a future. Thank You for reading, Nathan
#70
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Gabriella, You thoughtful person – what spoke t o me from your post was observance of grief to you loved ones. This too has been a long trying experience for me as well. I felt decisive in being the only one to devote a life to my Ma’s grief, and cost me dearly, as so many aspects of life after trauma. . Being caring and sweet is a lifetime sacrifice (if you were wondering). Be good to yourself. I should say that going through a hectic adjustment was entertwined with guilt….but we carry on as best as able. Intense enough so after Mother’s life ended I finallycame to terms with all that occurred, the devotion in a time of crisis and an ability to follow through on decisions made when circumstances don’t allow reason to prevail ( or maybe those sacrifices are part of the price). Take Care.
#71
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Everyone has an experience to relate, sometimes taking for granted the good and focusing on the harsh or is being pleasant just a show? We try and with persistence and luck a percentage may have a full life. I see people with debilitating physical pain but not from PTSD, so their functioning admirably. Not understanding is my worse trait, causing a self perception increasingly harsh. Wishing all the best in your pursuits!!!!
#72
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in an auto accident where my vehicle ran me over a destroyed my spleen I spent 5 days in the hospital but I don’t feel like myself anymore
#73
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi, About 2 years ago I was walking to highschool. When I crossed a crossed walk a car ran me over. I remember the wheels of the car going by when I was underneath it and I remember thinking that this could not be the end of my life because I had just been accepted into University and after years of bullying my life was finally going to get better. Also remember thinking of my mother and father and how I did not want them to grieve for a loss of a child. (A couple years before a friend of mine died of cancer I don’t really remember much other than her mother’s face as she cried at the funeral) I thought of my sister who has downsyndrome and who will be there to take care of her if after my parents died if I wasn’t around. When I out from under the car I remember screaming for someone to help me and a crowd of people coming. I remember bits and pieces after that like being in the ambulance and realizing I was in shock. I remember my parents coming to the hospital. Then it is mostly a drug induced haze. Alot of bones were broken inculding both of my shoulders and legs. As well as a brusied lung. I have nerve damage on my paraneal nerve. I was in a wheel chair for six weeks it took me a couple of months to walk again. Now I have PTSD and I am in chronic pain. I am in University now but it is hard. I can’t really make friends because my chronic pain makes it hard for me to do what normal college kids do and I desperately do not want be my only defining thing about me to be “the girl who was ran over by a car” but it feels like this accident has taken over my life. Everyone still has high expectations for me and I don’t think they understand that for me at the moment everyday I wake up in pain dealing with axenity and nightmares of PTSD and I have to fight to get out of bed in the morning and to do something. That I may look disinterested in doing something but in reality I am in pain and don’t want to express it because that would halt daily conversation. I feel like I am lying to everyone when I say I am doing okay because if I told them the truth it would be heavy. I am angry that this is what my University days have become because they were suppose to be better than my previous schooling. I know everyone has been through alot on this thread and I am sorry that everyone had to go through it and glad there are people you can relate to on here. I hope sharing my story helped. I have some questions: Is there any better way to deal PTSD? I tried therapy but my psychologist felt she was more in it for the money than helping me. Any way to deal with chronic pain? Thank you for reading my story
#74
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was recently hit by a car as a pedestrian when crossing the street walking home from work. I had a million things going through my mind before the crash (work, what I wanted for dinner, my weekend plans). All I remember is taking one step onto the crosswalk and feeling something hard hit me. I completely blacked out the accident. I remember waking up on the street and feeling relieved that I could get up and walk. I had so much adrenaline that I thought I was completely fine. Then I slowly began to feel pain in my lower body, back, and head. Following the accident, I have tried to get back to my normal life. I always thought when something like this happened, you just feel worried about yourself, and while I felt worried in many ways, I mainly felt scared that I was causing my family pain and felt empathy for the driver. I just wanted everyone to know how fine I was so I could move forward. But feeling like I had to be fine, started to make me feel worse. Every time I mentioned I had a headache or pain my parents would get so worried. I didn’t want work to feel sorry for me or treat me any differently because of my accident. I have probably said i’m fine about 100 times when secretly i’ve still felt some physical pain and i’m struggling to not think about the accident and to move forward. I feel confused and have no idea how to move forward and feel normal again. I’m hoping with time I will just start to feel like myself again. I am so happy I found a group of people who understand what it’s like to go through something traumatic and not know what reactions to have or how to communicate your experience to others.
#75
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I had a car accident 2 days before valentines this year. My friend was driving a bit fast and he looked down for a second and we hit a tree with the side of the car and then we flipped into a ditch. I was in the middle back seat, it was a big suv/truck. I broke six bones that left me with a plate and 11 screws, lacerated my liver, had a dislocation, huge hematoma on my pelvis, lost alot of blood. I was paralyzed for about a month. Therapy was extremely painful, it was hell on earth. I saw my life flash through my eyes. It completely changed me. Im 19, its been 7 months since the accident. I worry about myself more, I care about myself more, I watch my health, I don’t get in cars with people I dont trust. I feel wiser than others. Not because of intelligence but because of experience. I see people don’t appreciate life. I am so grateful that god gave me an opportunity to live. I choose to see the negative as something positive. My advice to anyone would be to appreciate what you have even though it might not be what you want, it could be alot worse, And I mean alot worse.
#76
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi! I was just in a serious accident a few weeks ago. Was going around 70 mph when a car came out of nowhere (I believe he was speeding off a merging lane and lost control) and we crashed. I broke both of my ankles, with the right one poking out of my skin. So blessed nothing else seriously happened to me, and everyone else at the scene was fine. I still have bad flashbacks of seeing the car fly into my lane almost perpendicular to me, and then the pain of trying to get my legs out of my car because the engine started smoking, and I was afraid it would blow up (I’ve watched way too many action movies lol). If you need to talk to anyone, I’m here! I’ve got another 4-6 weeks of not being able to walk or put weight on my feet, so I have all the time in the world lol.
#77
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Your strength is so inspiring, my heart goes out to you <3
#78
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi everyone, just thought I would jot my car story down. Hope this helps me as much as it helps others out there to know we are not alone. My day started off quite normal, got up and brushed off my car before heading to work for a 12hr day shift. I work as an ER nurse and picked up this shift for a fellow colleague. Stupid right? On my way to work I entered an intersection on a yellow light, roads were icy so I proceeded to go through, little did I know I wouldn’t make it through the intersection let alone to work that day. A truck T-boned me on the drivers side, I slid into a ditch and hit a nearby pole head on. Was in and out of conciousness while trapped inside the vehicle and waited until paramedics arrived. I woke up in the hospital, being told the extent of my injuries. I couldn’t see out of my left eye at all, nor could I move my left arm or hip. I sustained a left eye orbital floor fracture, fractured my pelvis in 4 places and dislocated my sacrum, fractured bilateral 1st and 2nd ribs, collapsed left lung, lacerated spleen, lacerations to my kidney, fractured elbow and left wrist. Long story short I spent 1 week in ICU, 2 weeks in trauma. I left the hospital in a wheelchair and was on bed rest for a few weeks, it’s safe to say my husband became my nurse. I participated in extensive physiotherapy at home for about 2 months. That’s when the most bizarre bat shit crazy thing happened. I found out that I was pregnant and 2.5 months to be exact, my OBGYN informed me that I was indeed pregnant during my accident and must of conceived the weeekend just prior to the crash. Um come again?? Yup that’s right, I was in complete denial! With the amount of XRays, scans, blood thinners, pain medications and surgeries, this baby survived it all. So I can say my story does have a happy ending, I survived and have a healthy beautiful baby girl who also survived. I too like many others had my doubts about why I survived and still have nightmares and flashbacks occasionally. I can admit I am very fearful of drivers on the road and while riding as a passenger, anyone else feel this way? All in all i am making strides forward not only for myself but for my daughter. It is a miracle we are both alive and I’m trying my best to live In the moment. I am determined to be better each day for my patients and express to them that I know how it feels to be on the other side of the bed. I hope others will read this and recognize that we all survived for a reason, we all have a purpose and perhaps one purpose is to offer support and guidance to fellow victims.
#79
Reply: Car accident survivors?
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#80
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am a certified English teacher who was working in Seoul, South Korea. I was able to help several of my students to get accepted in to schools in the U.S. and even one into a school in London. But my story is about my trip to Arizona with one of my students, who I helped to get into a high school in Arizona. He got accepted into a high school in Arizona and his parents asked me to go there with him. On June 17, 2011, I was driving him to his high school with my younger brother. The speed limit where we were was 45 mph, so I was going 35 mph. Then a U-Haul truck, going the opposite direction at 65 mph, came into my lane and hit us head-on and dragged us and hit 9 or 10 more cars. I learned later that the driver was apparently high on drugs and fell asleep while driving. The roof of my car, a Mazda 626, was crushed on me and my 2 passengers. The police had to use the “jaws-of-life” to peel the roof off our car to bring us to the hospital. My 2 passengers were in the hospital for only 3 days with minor injuries, but I was in for 3 months, I was also in the intensive care unit for 1.5 months and an induced comma for 2 weeks. The doctors implanted titanium into all my broken bones, which included my cranium, left cheek, jaw, left shoulder, ribs and my pelvis, which the doctors told me later, “had so many fractures, it was practically shattered!” After I was released, I had to do physical therapy and due to my “shattered pelvis.” the doctors were estimating my therapy to be at least 1 year. And there was another man with less fractures than me, who had been going there 15 years and still did not walk well. They were amazed that they could release me after just about 5 weeks. Some people were so amazed with the speed of my recovery, the y compared me to Wolverine, form the X-men movies, because of all the titanium implanted into my bones and my fast recovery. They credited my fitness level and “athletic mentality.” And when they found out that I used to be a certified personal trainer for NY Sports Club, they said that I “…must’ve been a tremendous trainer!”
#81
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am a certified English teacher who was working in Seoul, South Korea. I was able to help several of my students to get accepted in to schools in the U.S. and even one into a school in London. But my story is about my trip to Arizona with one of my students, who I helped to get into a high school in Arizona. He got accepted into a high school in Arizona and his parents asked me to go there with him. On June 17, 2011, I was driving him to his high school with my younger brother. The speed limit where we were was 45 mph, so I was going 35 mph. Then a U-Haul truck, going the opposite direction at 65 mph, came into my lane and hit us head-on and dragged us and hit 9 or 10 more cars. I learned later that the driver was apparently high on drugs and fell asleep while driving. The roof of my car, a Mazda 626, was crushed on me and my 2 passengers. The police had to use the “jaws-of-life” to peel the roof off our car to bring us to the hospital. My 2 passengers were in the hospital for only 3 days with minor injuries, but I was in for 3 months, I was also in the intensive care unit for 1.5 months and an induced comma for 2 weeks. The doctors implanted titanium into all my broken bones, which included my cranium, left cheek, jaw, left shoulder, ribs and my pelvis, which the doctors told me later, “had so many fractures, it was practically shattered!” After I was released, I had to do physical therapy and due to my “shattered pelvis.” the doctors were estimating my therapy to be at least 1 year. And there was another man with less fractures than me, who had been going there 15 years and still did not walk well. They were amazed that they could release me after just about 5 weeks. Some people were so amazed with the speed of my recovery, the y compared me to Wolverine, form the X-men movies, because of all the titanium implanted into my bones and my fast recovery. They credited my fitness level and “athletic mentality.” And when they found out that I used to be a certified personal trainer for NY Sports Club, they said that I “…must’ve been a tremendous trainer!”
#82
Reply: Car accident survivors?
It happened as just a regular day. It was November 11,2016 and it changed my life forever. I had just gotten off of work and my sister and I was getting our moms boyfriends daughter at the time. On our way to get her my car had overheated and I pulled over to the side of the road across the fog line. Everyone said I did everything that I was supposed to. My flashers were on but that didn’t help. On November 11,2016 I had gotten out of my car to see why it overheated. As I was trying to get back into my car a person wasn’t paying attention and she hit the back of my car and then me at around 65 mph. My sister said I flew over my hood. I found out about my accident when I woke up in trauma ICU at a hospital near by a week later. I had to be airlifted and went into shock and had to be sedated because of all the pain. When I woke up I was in restraints and had a vent. My family told me that when I got to the hospital my right leg was barely attached. I had a c2 neck fracture, 2 back fractures, my right wrist, 2 fingers, my right hip, under my left knee and tore everything out of my right knee. I have gone through 9 surgeries and I’m still not done due to a blood infection after Christmas. I have been walking with help since the accident happened. I was told I was hit by a car traveling at 65 mph. My last surgery was September 19, 2017 and the doctor told me to expect another surgery due to everything being torn in it. I have no control over my right foot any more because I severed my nerve and tore my ligaments. I have started physical therapy but my knee is still too weak. she cussed me out for wrecking her car and she got improper lane usage. I Struggle with not being able to remember my accident while everyone else remembers it.
#83
Reply: Car accident survivors?
You know this exactly happened with my sister too. She doesn’t remember much about her accident and why she was charged with drunk driving. We have talked with a top Los Angeles DUI attorney too and really want her to get out of this mess.
#84
Reply: Car accident survivors?
On April 17, 2017 my life changed forever. Please note that I have ZERO memory of this night, this is just what everyone has told me, including the sheriff’s office. I was in a new, sporty car and took a drive out on the country roads by my parent’s house. Unfortunately for me, I forgot that the road I was on was quite bumpy/“hilly”(Central Ohio, not too many hills). Besides that fact, the road was completely straight so I thought it’d be fine to see what the car could do. Not even close to max speed, at 126 mph, my joy ride came to an end. When I went over the hill, my car bottomed out. I then lost complete control and jumped a nearby resident’s driveway. I then proceeded to hit a tree and a utility pole at over 6 feet in the air. The ENGINE and TRANSMISSION then EJECTED from the car and landed in a field 100+ feet away on the other side of the road. After that, the car rolled a few times and slid to it’s final resting point. That’s right, I hit a tree at over 100 mph (I already know how stupid that is). The neighbors and the motorist behind me all rushed to the scene and called 911. Once the ambulance got there, they decided it wasn’t enough and I was “MedFlighted” (Helicopter) to the most intense trauma center in Ohio, Grant Medical Center. My injuries were MINOR for the event that took place. I had a horrible concussion, both of my lungs collapsed, damage to one of my Carotid arteries, and major burns on my wrist. To this day I suffer with heart issues, breathing issues, very intense cervical back pain, and the worst anxiety and depression imaginable. It was quite the experience but I am just so incredibly blessed to even be sharing my story.
#85
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in a completely different accident but I know what you mean about not remembering. I two had to be airlifted from the scene. I know all about the anxiety and depression mine bothers me too.. Glad to know you weren’t hurt as bad.
#86
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I am new to this. I had a roll over accident in November. I rolled my vechile down a mountain at night 4 times. I knocked myself out after the first roll and that’s more than likely when I broke my neck. 2 places both on C2. The Hangman’s breaks is what it’s called. I also broke my arm in 6 places and now it’s all metal . 3 plates. The immediate concern is of course staying alive. I’m luckily. I can walk and I’m here. The long term , I’m learning is dealing with how long and slow recovery is. How things you did before you can’t. I use to be a lumberjack or jill as we call it. Now I struggle to lift 2 lbs. my neck has healed. I’m no longer in that horrible brace I wore everyday for 3 months. My arm is taking longer. I’m mad, I’m sad, I hurt all the time and I’m afraid. I was airlifted to a hospital here in my home city. I managed to go my entire life without hurting myself until now. I’m not dealing well.
#87
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in a car wreck on Nov 1, 2018 that changed my entire life. I owned a successful granite countertop business and was very much involved in running the business, day in and day out. The gentleman I was dating (he owned a business as well)..we took a trip to Gatlinburg, TN and was hit head on by a dump truck that came over in our lane. He didn’t survive. Over the last two years…I have survived a divorce of my husband of 20 years and my ONLY son joined the Marines..but….I always woke up with a “purpose” in my life. Since the wreck…each day gets more difficult for me. I miss being the “business owner” I was before the wreck. I don’t process information like I once did, struggle to make everyday decisions (which I never did before), have no concentration, driving to work causes great stress, gained 15 lbs the last couple of months and my entire thought process is different. I know….by the grace of God…I am still alive. I substained a broken jaw (in two places)…two fractured vertebrates in my neck, 27 staples in my head and a broken arm. Most of my injuries were to the head. Everyone tells me I look great…but I don’t feel great! I miss the old me!!! I have great employees that have supported me throughout this…but I am not the leader I once was (and not sure I will ever be)! I know…I am still here for a reason…but I hope I can recover fully soon. This “new” life is so not me and feels so different…and no one really understands. Are there any books or coping skills…that any of yall can recommend to me?
#88
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in a car wreck on Nov 1, 2018 that changed my entire life. I owned a successful granite countertop business and was very much involved in running the business, day in and day out. The gentleman I was dating (he owned a business as well)..we took a trip to Gatlinburg, TN and was hit head on by a dump truck that came over in our lane. He didn’t survive. Over the last two years…I have survived a divorce of my husband of 20 years and my ONLY son joined the Marines..but….I always woke up with a “purpose” in my life. Since the wreck…each day gets more difficult for me. I miss being the “business owner” I was before the wreck. I don’t process information like I once did, struggle to make everyday decisions (which I never did before), have no concentration, driving to work causes great stress, gained 15 lbs the last couple of months and my entire thought process is different. I know….by the grace of God…I am still alive. I substained a broken jaw (in two places)…two fractured vertebrates in my neck, 27 staples in my head and a broken arm. Most of my injuries were to the head. Everyone tells me I look great…but I don’t feel great! I miss the old me!!! I have great employees that have supported me throughout this…but I am not the leader I once was (and not sure I will ever be)! I know…I am still here for a reason…but I hope I can recover fully soon. This “new” life is so not me and feels so different…and no one really understands. Are there any books or coping skills…that any of yall can recommend to me?
#89
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was recently in a crash with my partner driving. I have no recollection of what happened. I just remember screaming for her to wake up but by this point In my heart I knew she’d gone. I had to take the air ambulance to my nearest hospital that could help with my injuries. I had the electric paddles used on me twice to bring me back and lost 3 litres of my 5 litres due to my small intestine ripping from it’s blood vessels. I underwent more operations than I can remember, must have been about 15 plus. This al left me with a very large injury in my stomach and an ileostomy, which always has a habit of leaking at 3 am in the morning so you have to change everything. It wasn’t until I left hospital that the massive weight of depression, losing my partner, realising I could no longer do 1 push up let alone the 100 I could easily do in under a minute. Life has been very tough since, my daily routine is terrible. No energy due to only having 1 meter of small intestine left which is attached to my stoma. My motivation and love for things is almost non existent. I don’t have good advice I’m afraid, this kind of thing is something else to live through. With how serious my injuries were, someone wanted me alive (and I’m not a religious person but someone wanted me to survive). I guess that’s the thing to hang on to, you did survive! And I’m sure you’ll do something great with your life but don’t punish yourself for needing to rest. Your body needs it. I too am self employed and feel guilty if I wake up late or don’t get much done. But I’ve come to the realisation that, at the moment, I simply can’t work as hard as I used to. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it will come right. I feel for you, and everyone else in this situation. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to live with. I cry constantly, I probably drink too much to escape. It’s a hard one but I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel though, I know now from experience, how difficult this is. Good luck and I hope you find happiness :)
#90
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Yeah I was in an accident where I lost my partner, I lost 3 Litres of blood and had to be revived 3 times and airlifted to the hospital. Strangely I literally have no memory of the accident at all. Not the events leading up to it and those after. The only thing I remember was turning and shouting at my partner to wake up then I was out again. That’s the last I remember. My partner was driving and I wonder if my lack of memory of the whole thing is the reason I don’t have a problem driving now. Though I am certainly more aware of everyone else on the road. It’s changed my life completely and it’s very hard work trying to get back the person I used to be.
#91
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Deanna34 and cshelswell, thank you for sharing your story and being part of the TSN community forum. You both mention how the accident was a life-changer, and that is exactly what unifies survivors of trauma. It is also the reason survivors are able to connect on a deeper level — they have experienced something that links their lives going forward. That is what this forum and this community are about, and so we thank you for being a part of each other’s process of recovery. As you know, we offer services such as Peer Visitation, where you can connect with other trauma peers on the phone for trauma management support, etc. Let us know if that is something you would be interested in participating. For that or any other questions do not hesitate to reach back, either here in this forum or at intern@amtrauma.org. We are thinking of you today as you continue this journey to recovery.
#92
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was fortunate to have an over qualified therapist….at a minimum extremely effective. Is the book out of print or a book not specifically relatable for broader audiences, but of benefit to you in the moment?
#93
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Dear LT4others. I am new here but briefly reading this post I am so happy you have survived to now from your accident. Quick and short I accidentally killed my brother in a DUI car crash where he burned to death before my very eyes. I have scars from the 3rd degree burns I suffered while trying to get him out. I was unsuccessful. I can only share my experience and what had helped me grey to here and now. Hope and purpose that regardless of the circumstantial outcome of the traumatic event I am still here for a reason…what that reason is you may never truly realize but know 100% you still have a purpose to be here. Find your purpose and find peace, serenity and joy.
#94
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I walked over a access hole with which the cover gave way underneath me, it ruptured the tendons in my knee and damaged the knee-cap extensively! as i have been paid SSP i have undertaken scans, x-rays and im just starting physio, my employer said the company insurance has covered the accident and will be waiting gladly for me to return as and when my physical health has got better! I have now numerous weeks later been told im being made redundant due to me not meeting the points criteria they have in place for such collective redundancies! is this by employment rights and law legal? I hope someone could answer this for me as im at my wits-end as now i don’t have a job anymore due to me not being able to do it til my health has picked up again!
#95
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi I’m Aisha I’m 24 from England. I was in a crash in august 2018. Resulting in head, brain and skull contusions, CNS contusions, spinal and nerve damage, whiplash, back and buttocks contusions and also PTSD. The hardest bit is the nights alone. I wasn’t able to do anything for myself I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone, get dressed on my own, get out of bed and walk alone or even get myself a glass of water. At one point I was on 8 tramadol tablets a day with other medication on top. As a result of mental health difficulties and PTSD trauma I paralysed the right side of my face in the space of 13 months. The sleepless nights, sleep paralysis, flashbacks, nightmares all of that along with losing my place at university and going through therapy to be able to walk without aids. I’m still not there I still struggle with walking, it’s affected my whole life. The worst thing is I have nobody I can talk to that will understand because they’ve been through it too.
#96
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Glad to hear that but I’m curious to know whether you were considered a lawyer in that case?
#97
Reply: Car accident survivors?
Hi!, My name is Ana and I’m also a survivor of car accident, It happened when I was little and my mind blocked the memories.
#98
Reply: Car accident survivors?
I was in a car accident Aug. 19, 2022. On my way home I was broadsided by an SUV that blew the turn signal. She saw the green light and thought it was ok to turn. She was 84 years old. I was in a Miata with the top down. I remember seeing her vehicle coming towards me. I remember bits and pieces. People around me. Being in the ambulance. I was told that when she hit me my car spun around and flew across the road into a gas station. I spent 4 days in the hospital with numerous fractures to ribs, shoulder, bruises, torn spleen. A week after being home I was rushed back to the hospital for emergency spleen surgery. Spent 6 days in the hospital. By the grace of God I am still alive. I am not the same person as I was before the accident. I can honestly say that my faith in God has become stronger. I am still healing physically and emotionally. The driving has been an issue for me. I limit where I go even though the accident happened five minutes from my house. Healing takes time.