Sometimes I Feel My Heart Is Breaking
On April 9th 2013 I received a phone call that would change my life as I knew it. While out to lunch with a friend in Columbus, OH where I was currently living, my mother called me from Cleveland with a frog in her throat. I could tell something was off almost immediately. She told me I needed to come home to Cleveland right away because my father had been in an accident at work and that it wasn’t good. I told her I didn’t want to know details and I’d be on my way as soon as I could. I hung up the phone and paused for about 15 seconds. I suppose I was trying to process everything but it wasn’t happening consciously because I don’t remember having and thoughts flowing through me. I began to cry on my friends shoulder, sobbing for about another 30 seconds and then I was a rock. I wiped my tears away and made phone calls to both my jobs explaining what happened and when one of my bosses offered to drive me to Cleveland (after explaining a similar story happening to her father), I began to cry again and told her no I’d be okay. I got gas, dropped off my friend and headed back to my apartment. I called my roommate and best friend and told her what happened.
I eventually made it to Cleveland via my best friend where she dropped me off at my house and proceeded to her house in Mentor, OH. My mother’s friend met me at my house; a woman I hadn’t seen in probably 10 years was my ride to the hospital. Talk about awkward. I got to the hospital and as I walked out of the elevators and walked towards the clear doors to the waiting room at Metro Health Hospitals’ 5C. It was a long walk. I saw everyone who was there, family and friends of the family. I walked through the doors and my mother rushed over to me in tears and hugged me, I immediately began to sob. Almost everyone gathered around me, it was only a bit overwhelming. They told me what happened:
He was on a ladder at work and fell 8-13ft and hit concrete. A couple walking by saw him fall, ran over and called 911 from his cell phone. The girl took his shirt and held it to head bleeding head until the ambulance arrived. He was unresponsive when they got there and was escorted by Lakewood police 30 minutes to Metro. Upon arrival they immediately took him back to surgery for what we were told was a “lifesaving procedure.” This meant cutting open his head and taking a rather large piece of skull out so that his brain would have room to swell. (Some of these facts we learned in the coming days)
He was out of surgery but they would not let us back there right away. Finally, they did. I was extremely afraid. Of what I’m not exactly sure even today. The fear of not knowing how bad everything really was, I guess. We got back in the room and an RN named James and a doctor were there to talk to us. The doctor basically told us there was a high chance that he wouldn’t make it through the night and to, “Start thinking of other options,” and, “Make preparations.” Clearly I was a basket case and so was my mother. All of what the doctors were saying I cannot recall at the moment, I’m not even positive I actually heard them. However, after the doctors left, James was there, and James was amazing. He knew exactly what to say and his body language was so calming. In the weeks to come he never had my father again as a patient but would always stop in the room and talk to us and check on him. He called me “Boss” and my mother “Mom.” Most of the RN’s that my father had on 5C were extremely awesome at everything and most importantly amazing at handling my mother and I. We are eternally grateful to the men and women that took care of my father on 5C.
My father did make it through the night. He also made it through a subdural hematoma, fractured skull, three broken ribs, collapsed lung, two blood clots, left side weakness, cerebral fluid drain and two bouts of pneumonia. He was moved into Metro’s acute brain rehab 6 weeks after the accident where they got him up and moving (with assistance), his trach removed, feeding tube removed, pick line removed and catheter removed. They got him talking again and making progress with his memory, cognitive skills and daily skills. He is now in a post-acute brain rehab facility in Stow, OH (his day pass did NOT go very well and was deemed not quite fit for release back to home life). He has been there a week and has 2 months of rehab to go. He will receive 6-7 hours of therapy a day. We are more than confident that this facility will get him more stable on his feet and in his head.
He is still confused, jumbled and truly thinks he is okay. He does not understand he has a TBI or the severe nature of his accident. He has is moments of anger and frustration. He is not the same man that went up that ladder that day and never will be. I have given up a lot to ensure my mother is okay and that my father finds his way. How I’m supposed to do this, I have no idea, I am just hoping the answers fall into place as we go. No one expected this and no one can predict it’s outcome.
“Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking
But I stay strong and I hold on
‘Cause I know
I’ll see you again, this is not where it ends
I will carry you with me.” – Carrie Underwood italic See You Again