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Suffering after surviving

#1
Suffering after surviving
by JayZee on Jun 26, 2019, 03:19PM

My story started Nov 18, 2018 while my 6 month old son, wife, and I were running errands. At 2:15 pm someone blew through a stop sign and T boned our car on the drivers side. Our car skid sideways and rolled down a concrete ravine. My wife and I were ejected from the car, but our son was buckled up and just got bruised up. My wife and I were knocked out, but she woke up when she heard our son crying. The car landed upside down with her and me face down in the concrete. She frantically tried to rescue our son, but couldn’t get in the car. A bystander who witnessed the whole thing threatened the guy to hit us to save our son. We all were transported to the local hospital, and that is where the story should turn around, but its not. Our son was OK, but shaken. My wife was banged up bad and had a concussion. Apparently I should have been dead by that point, but woke up. I don’t remember any of it, but I had to be life flighted to Lincoln. I had all ribs on my left side broken, collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, torn artery near my heart (survival rate is less then 20%), fractured pelvis, destroyed right elbow, torn scalp, concussion, and bruises from head to toe. I was frantic and thought I wouldn’t see my wife again so said my goodbyes. I was put in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks and on life support. They even had to put a trach in. I woke up in ICU and couldn’t move, talk, or breathe on my own. Over the course of the month of December I learned how to breathe, talk, and walk again. I had a couple operations in this time. Mind you most people thought I wouldn’t survive, then be on life support for life, then paralyzed. I beat incredible odds (I always had a good perspective on life). I was released before Christmas, but the troubles didn’t end there. Scar tissue built up where my trach was (tracheal Stenosis), but didn’t know what was going on at the time (born with asthma). I was diagnosed with a stenosis and told to go to Omaha immediately as my stenosis is life threatening. Every week since I had to go for another operation to remove the scar tissue. Over the course of these several months I lost a lot of ambition and happiness (constantly being reminded I am limited physically) due to these constant hospital visits. My right elbow being temporarily limited to less then 25% ROM means im further limited. That should be where it ends, but it isn’t. I got a new job a month before the accident to better support my family. My previous employers (1 full, 1 part time) I had no insurance at the time of the accident. Medical bills soared near 1 million. I got medicaid since I couldn’t work, but they are only covering back to Dec 1st. There is almost a half a million in medical bills not covered. I have 3 attorneys now (bankrupcy, injury, and child support for oldest son). All have to be dealt with (piles of questions, paperwork) on top of loosing everything I worked for. I will be out of work for a year at least due to the stenosis (and resection healing), and my elbow. For surviving the accident this is what I get. I haven’t got a break since the accident (hospital, healthcare providers, financial institutions, attorneys, etc) constant calls and bills for money I don’t have. That is where I am now. I already gave in to the fact that all my hard work is for nothing because of that guy who hit us and can’t afford my bills. I have to pay the price for surviving at the expense of everything else. That is where im at today.

JayZee

Posts: 1
Joined 05/18/2019

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#2
Reply: Suffering after surviving
by Kaybleech on Jul 15, 2019, 06:55AM

I was injured on 10/12. I feel your pain. I understand some of what you feel. I was injured in an accident on 10/2012, It has been almost 7 years and life still sucks. Like you I am lucky to be a live, but like you I am tired and frustrated. I finally qualified for medicare after my employer stopped all my insurance. I had a good job, tried to be a good person, and like you feel I have not gotten a brake since this accident. Here is my story, I was in a car accident, had my seat belt on, hit on a major road by a tractor trailer, hit another car, and was trapped. After the air bags went down I knew I was trapped and was unable to get or crawl out of the car. I hit my had an had a large bleed behind my right eye, concussion, shattered my left wrist and forearm radius and ulna (my dominate left hand which has m) any ongoing disabilties. I broke some ribs, I injured my right shoulder and torn my rotator cuff. I broke my right leg and foot in so many places they could not do surgery and I was in an external fixator for 4 weeks. Like you had to learn to walk and do many things. I have Physical therapy for 3 years 3 times a week till I ran out of money for the co pays, then it went to 1 day per week. I did not walk or could not drive for over 3 years. So far during the initial 31 day hospital stay was 24 surgeries. Then three weeks in a rehab hospital for 4 weeks, and then for the next 4 years had 3-5 surgeries each year, Now up to the happy number of 34 surgeries. The state police for the final blow cited me for driving to fast for conditions, so after 3 years I had to go to driving school because I was in ICU and did could not go to court to defend myself so the court fined me for not notifying them in 3 days after the accident because I had a concussion and could not remember my birthday much less get my mail to get notified I had to go to court. The whole system does not work. I was and worked as a RN in a large trauma center for 31 years, I understand losing your job, I was terminated and I have not been back to work either. My husband had a bad injury and has his own small business which we are in the process of losing. I have had three attorney’s, I have piles of bills too. I have had 36 surgeries since my accident. Surgery and trying to get better does not change much. We have so many bills and our house is in foreclosure. Our electric has been turned off, we have had no heat many times, I volunteer at a food bank cause they give us food and do not ask questions. Currently we (my husband is a saint) have 1 car, we have any 2005 Toyota with 192,00 miles on it but it still goes. I can tell you my husband works so hard, and I feel guilty ass I am a huge burden. We were in our late 50’s when this happen and have spent all of our saving, all of our Roth IRA’s and most of our retirement to live and pay bills. Today is my birthday and all I can say I am another day older with not too much hope for the future. My husband is a saint and he is trying to support us. It took 3 attempts to get social security disability. My extra policy was cancelled after 3 and 1/2 years. I have been off work since my injury. I have tried to get jobs but due to my injuries I can’t pass the physicals for employment. I do understand your frustration. I have gotten depressed and I wish I could tell you it gets easier, it does not however their are times of small joys, A kiss from my husband, a hug from one of my nieces and nephews. Remember your son’s smile and your wife’s touch. I hope you gets so break in your life. People tell me it is better on this side than the death side, but honest to God, some days I wonder. I have been going to a counselor for depression but life goes on. Cherish you family, friends get sick of being around people who are so injured, a few will stay close and the are angels on earth, Keep trying, all I can say it can’t really get any works. Prayers for you and your family. Perhaps the Trauma Survivor System can help you. This is the first time I have written, I have been lurking and reading post but I wanted to reach out and tell you their are many of us in this situations and I hope it will get better for you. Life goes on and we do the best we can. Good luck, Keep trying to move foreward. Best to you. Cooper1957

Kaybleech

Posts: 2
Joined 05/15/2019

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#3
Reply: Suffering after surviving
by Kaybleech on Jul 15, 2019, 06:56AM

I was injured on 10/12. I feel your pain. I understand some of what you feel. I was injured in an accident on 10/2012, It has been almost 7 years and life still sucks. Like you I am lucky to be a live, but like you I am tired and frustrated. I finally qualified for medicare after my employer stopped all my insurance. I had a good job, tried to be a good person, and like you feel I have not gotten a brake since this accident. Here is my story, I was in a car accident, had my seat belt on, hit on a major road by a tractor trailer, hit another car, and was trapped. After the air bags went down I knew I was trapped and was unable to get or crawl out of the car. I hit my had an had a large bleed behind my right eye, concussion, shattered my left wrist and forearm radius and ulna (my dominate left hand which has m) any ongoing disabilties. I broke some ribs, I injured my right shoulder and torn my rotator cuff. I broke my right leg and foot in so many places they could not do surgery and I was in an external fixator for 4 weeks. Like you had to learn to walk and do many things. I have Physical therapy for 3 years 3 times a week till I ran out of money for the co pays, then it went to 1 day per week. I did not walk or could not drive for over 3 years. So far during the initial 31 day hospital stay was 24 surgeries. Then three weeks in a rehab hospital for 4 weeks, and then for the next 4 years had 3-5 surgeries each year, Now up to the happy number of 34 surgeries. The state police for the final blow cited me for driving to fast for conditions, so after 3 years I had to go to driving school because I was in ICU and did could not go to court to defend myself so the court fined me for not notifying them in 3 days after the accident because I had a concussion and could not remember my birthday much less get my mail to get notified I had to go to court. The whole system does not work. I was and worked as a RN in a large trauma center for 31 years, I understand losing your job, I was terminated and I have not been back to work either. My husband had a bad injury and has his own small business which we are in the process of losing. I have had three attorney’s, I have piles of bills too. I have had 36 surgeries since my accident. Surgery and trying to get better does not change much. We have so many bills and our house is in foreclosure. Our electric has been turned off, we have had no heat many times, I volunteer at a food bank cause they give us food and do not ask questions. Currently we (my husband is a saint) have 1 car, we have any 2005 Toyota with 192,00 miles on it but it still goes. I can tell you my husband works so hard, and I feel guilty ass I am a huge burden. We were in our late 50’s when this happen and have spent all of our saving, all of our Roth IRA’s and most of our retirement to live and pay bills. Today is my birthday and all I can say I am another day older with not too much hope for the future. My husband is a saint and he is trying to support us. It took 3 attempts to get social security disability. My extra policy was cancelled after 3 and 1/2 years. I have been off work since my injury. I have tried to get jobs but due to my injuries I can’t pass the physicals for employment. I do understand your frustration. I have gotten depressed and I wish I could tell you it gets easier, it does not however their are times of small joys, A kiss from my husband, a hug from one of my nieces and nephews. Remember your son’s smile and your wife’s touch. I hope you gets so break in your life. People tell me it is better on this side than the death side, but honest to God, some days I wonder. I have been going to a counselor for depression but life goes on. Cherish you family, friends get sick of being around people who are so injured, a few will stay close and the are angels on earth, Keep trying, all I can say it can’t really get any works. Prayers for you and your family. Perhaps the Trauma Survivor System can help you. This is the first time I have written, I have been lurking and reading post but I wanted to reach out and tell you their are many of us in this situations and I hope it will get better for you. Life goes on and we do the best we can. Good luck, Keep trying to move foreward. Best to you. Cooper1957

Kaybleech

Posts: 2
Joined 05/15/2019

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#4
Reply: Suffering after surviving
by mark144 on Oct 20, 2019, 07:40PM

I am very sorry that happened to you. I’m constantly reminded that other people are so brave and persevere despite adversities that mine sounds almost trivial in comparison. It is not fair what happened to you and your family. And most people don’t understand the trauma and PTSD that lingers on way after the physical healing is manageable, if ever. Only you and perhaps your close ones understand, and others who have gone through similar experiences. I was hit by a car riding my bike. The guy made an illegal left turn into his driveway while I was coming at around 20 mph opposite way toward him. The day was perfectly clear. He said he didn’t see me. I believe he was distracted by his cell phone or something else and was not paying attention. The car shattered my left tibial plateau upon contact and send me flying. I broke half of my right rib cage, shattered my right elbow and shoulder, collapsed lung, and had a severe concussion. The helmet saved my life. I was put into a medically induced coma for 3 days and, also like you, had a trach, which damaged the nerves in my larynx or perhaps it was the brain damage that didn’t show up on the CAT scan. I learned how to talk again but I never regained the same ability to talk and still have difficulty pronouncing words and being fluid when speaking. I couldn’t walk for two months. My mom came from Europe to take care of me. A week after I left the hospital, my girlfriend who I wanted to propose to, threw me out of her apartment and her life because my ex-girlfriend texted me and wanted to say hello to my mother as they had remained good friends even after our breakup. There is more to the story, of course, but that is pretty much what it boils down to. I was blamed, not cared for or cared about. Year and a half later, I can’t form a relationship and I cry several times a week, and can’t put a finger on the specific reasons. I know I’m different now, but can’t put a finger on it either. I’m so lucky to have survived and return to good physical fitness, which is a miracle, like your story. Neither one of us had a right to survive our accidents, or not be paralyzed or amputees. But the scars are still there. I will never be the same, physically and mentally. People around me don’t understand the trauma I experienced. It sounds like you have a good family support, which is extremely important. But I understand what you are going through, and I am so very sorry for what you’re dealing with.

mark144

Posts: 1
Joined 10/20/2019

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