Trauma Survivors Network - provided by ATS

Scars

It has been over ten years since my car accident. It has been a very personal journey and has made me who I am today. I try to take from it positives. Most people in my life do not even know I was in such a severe accident. I do not like to share. I am a very private person with that information. So private, that still conceal my worst scars. I was very lucky not to have facial scars. For the first couple of years I wore turtle necks to cover my trac scar and a scar on my shoulder. I wore jeans in the summer to cover the scars on my legs. People tend to make comments to you when your wearing jeans in 100 degree weather. I avoided pool parties etc. Starting relationships with men was difficult. I met my husband 5 years ago, and he has given me the strength to expose several of my not so severe scars like my neck and lower leg the last two years. I wear shorts now, but long ones to still conceal my worst scar on my thigh. When my husband looks at me he says, “What scars?” I love my life, my husband, I am am very fortunate. The thing I can’t stand is people making comments about my finger, or neck, or lower leg scars. I guess I would like to just hide them so nobody knows. They are like” Oh my goodness, how horrible, how did that happen?” all I can think is, if they only knew about the more serious ones. They are scratches compared to the rest of my scars. I over heard people talking about my scars. What I guess I am trying to say is that I would love to talk to someone who has had similar issues with scars especially other women.

Reply: Scars

I hate my scars. I can only wear one pair of shoes since my scooter accident. I had a degloving injury on my right foot culminating in the amputation of two toes down to the mid foot. I lost most of the tissue on top of my foot and it is covered by a skin graft. It’s so lumpy and ugly that I always wear socks. I have never been barefoot around my friends. I hate it. I just want to wear cute shoes like all the other 22-year old women get to. :(

Reply: Scars

I am a 22 year old young woman and after reading this I think I need to share about my scars. The accident I was in left me with scars from my chin down and my hair covers what is on my head. I couldn’t tell you what all my scars are but I was knocked out of my shoes which in several places took parts of the top of my feet off as well. It’s been a little over two years since my accident and the scars have started to fade some but my right arm is completely covered from elbow to armpit. People don’t usually ask about the scars or a piece of glass or asphalt on my neck but my arm is something I can’t cover except with long sleeves. Maybe it’s because I live in warm weathered Georgia but for whatever reason I fortunately never felt shy about wearing short sleeves or trying to cover my arm. I notice people staring occasionally and strangers ask me about it sometimes but I’m glad it hasn’t bothered me. I actually started getting positive comments about being okay with my scars. I even knew one girl my age who started to wear shirts even if it showed the edge of her own scar. She told me she had open heart surgery at age five and only wore shirts that covered up her scar up until she met me.

So don’t feel bad if you have scars! If I had tried to cover mine up I would have never met the girl who spent 15 years hiding her own and now has the courage to wear the clothes she wants to without fear. You never know who else you might help to come out of hiding.

I am insecure about one thing though. I swelled up after my accident and when I got back down to size I was left with water pockets in one thigh which makes it lumpy & mis-shapen. I rarely wear shorts and when I do I wrap my leg. I have pretty much completely avoided swimming around people. But this is one thing I’m working on trying to come to terms with. I’m hoping to boost my confidence & forget what others may think. I’ll take this next summer to practice and hopefully I will come out stronger. I hope I was able to help someone by sharing and when summer rolls around and I’m starting to feel insecure I’ll make sure to re-read what I’ve written & remember to walk the walk.

My heart goes out to you ladies and I wish nothing but the best for you two.

Reply: Scars

I hate replying to posts with old dates cause I wonder if anyone ever reads the new ones. But anyway in response to the orginal poster I too am covered in scars I have 7 on one arm, 5 on one leg, and 4 on the other. I have a graph scar and donor site scar, which I feel are horrible. I dread warm weather coming since my scars are new and I have not been through a summer with them I am dreading it. One thing my boyfriend has told me and I try to keep that at the front of my thoughts is. I should wear them proudly, they are a testement to my suriving a near fatal accident and these are my trophy’s. It helps so I have felt better about my arm scars, but my leg is something I am trying to deal with.

Reply: Scars

I completely understand your feelings ladies and would love to share my story. I was involved in a motorcycle accident on a major highway at 80 mph. When we came off the bike, I stayed in one position and literallly “rode the road” with only a pair of jeans and my skin as my protection.

I was 24 years old. I was in close to the best shape of my life. I has just received a promotion in my first “big girl” job. Everyone was telling me my boyfriend was about to propose. I was on top of the world. Then I was on the middle of 97.

I have scars. I have lots of scars; some are worse than others. I had 6 surgeries at Baltimore Shock Trauma and have at least one scar on every part of my body. A major injury was to my upper thigh and lady parts. I have scars in places I can’t even see! A large part of the skin on my hand was removed so now I have a few nasty scars there. I had a colostomy bag for a few months and that left scars that I swore everyone would know what they were.

My first opinion was that it was horrible. I thought I could never wear shorts, never wear a bathing suit and would have to wear makeup for the rest of my life.

But then I was admitted back to the hospital for my second set of surgeries. As I laid there and watched a million and ten episodes of Grey’s Anatomy I saw the episode where one of the doctors get the chicken pox. The other doctor tells her she has to stop itching or she will get scars. The first doctor replies “I don’t care. Scars are badass!” I thought about this for a while.

That night my boyfriend (who was driving the motorcycle) came in to see me like he always did. As soon as he walked in I looked up and said “scars are badass” and he replies “your darn right they are!”

It was one line of a TV show but it really made me think about my scars and what they meant. They didn’t mean that I did something wrong. They didn’t mean I had some horrible contagious disease. They didn’t mean I was any less than I was before I had them.

They mean I, like you 4, was lucky enough to have my guardian angel looking over me that day. I was lucky enough to survive.

Rather than hate your scars, embrace them. They are a part of you. A trauma changes us all, I actually think it changed me for the better. It made me slow down a bit and quit being so career driven. It made me realize no one in the world is as awesome as those people I call Mom and Dad. It made me realize that those days we call bad days, aren’t really that bad at all. So if I have to trade a few new scars for many life lessons, I am perfectly fine with that!

Reply: Scars

You all are really strong ladies! I’m 24yrs old and was involve in a motor car accident 2mths ago. My boyfriend (rider) and i was hit by a car, when we stopped in the middle of the highway due to a car breakdown infront of us. I can’t remember anything at all, and when I regain my consciousness I was trapped under the car. I have lots of wound on my body and a very big deep wound at my right leg calf area. The doctor have to close the big wound using skin graft. I thought my nightmare will be over after the operations, but it is actually the beginning when they need to redress the wound. The first time I saw it, I was in shock and cry non stop as the wound is so big and deep. Now most of the wounds on my body have healed, except the big one on my leg. The scar is so big (most of the soft tissue and skin were removed and covered with skin graft) that I know I can’t wear short pants anymore. I used to wear short pants due to the hot weather, and the love of going beach area. I’m now going to physical therapy but till now I still can’t look at the scar or face others. As I keep trying to hid the scar and being conscious of the wound, making me depress and stress.

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Reply to Christine

I understand how you feel. But it is still early. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. I promise you it will get better. I thought people would look at me like I was an ogar after I lost my eye. But what I found was that most of them were just curious about what happened. With a simple explanation, they were really nice about it. Over time I learned to use humor to heal. I find that if I don’t take it too seriously, neither will others. Just remember the scars don’t define who you are. You are still the same person on the inside that you always were. And scars do heal over time. Some better than others, but they do heal. So should you!

Best wishes!

Reply: Scars

I am 21 years old. Crash happened when i was 19.

I have scar that is on my face and is about 6 in.

and about five scars that are about .5in on my face.

My ear was amputated,

I have had two plastic revisions on my face and ear.

I also get FRAXIL treatment for the scare (lasers)

I have problems with how i look