Learning to try again!
Took me awhile to post but finally in a place where this feels helpful to myself and maybe to others mostly! Sept 17th I was training for a half Ironman for my 40th birthday. My best friend and I had only been riding for 5 minutes in a very “safe” area because it was a weekend and there are 5 lanes but a driver fell asleep or was distracted and hit me at atleast 50 mph. My friend heard the car last minute mad bailed and screamed but there was no time. I remember getting hit, the sound, the feeling of nog being ready to die. When I came around luckily fairly quickly after the world was a blur. Over the next 3 days I battled a back fracture that was fortunately stable and required bracing and no surgery with the modern approach to these fracture types, horrible whip lash and neck pain and serious concussion. The in between is something I’ll always share with someone that needs strength in my story but the return to life has been my focus. I have 3 kids (9,6 and 2) and an amazing husband and we’ve made it through but the stages of grief, anger, reality that I should have died or been paralyzed at best still makes comprehension so hard. I filled the Cheerios, gave hugs I think and left the house and everything changed in one moment. I post the picture on my profile because im an athlete and while I don’t want to cycle again I’m back to running and swimming and hoping to do this well but truth is my body doesn’t feel like my body and each day it’s a constant effort to push past and not be fearful of what my body may or not be able to do or when I will or will not have jumpy moments in public or wake up with nightmares.
