Trauma Survivors Network - provided by ATS

Am I making a deal out of nothing?

Hi everyone,

My name is jess & I have only just joined TSN. I don’t believe my
Story is exactly as important as my peers on here and I am not sure whether I should just get over myself and grow up and if I am over reacting over nothing. Please help?

My story actually began when I was 10years old (I am now 21). In this time I have had 5 major car accidents and have survived each one… Not including minor accidents. I had not been driving once during these. I have gotten to the stage of my life where I am so scared and so sick of people telling me to drive and get over this. No one understands the fear and the guy wrenching ache of just waiting for the impending impact. I can’t sleep In a car and am always anxious and I always watch the road. I have no one who understands (even though they want to) what I feel. I have had accidents from going head first into a tree at 60km & to rolling down a 15m embankment. The worst feeling is waiting. Waiting for the impact when your spiralling out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop it. The screaming and the helplessness keep me up at night and I still have nightmares. I have come out extremely lucky through this accidents and some I should not have survived but through miraculous odds, I am
Still here. I feel guilty and disgusting having survived sometimes because I can only imagine what other family’s who have gone through worse and I am here complaining.

Should I just give up and stop winging. I haven’t seen a counsellor even though I’ve been told I should. I just don’t feel comfortable talking to someone who doesn’t understand and I am not one to open up to just anyone. The worst thing is that when I finally get the confidence to open up to even family members.. The don’t understand. Next thing I know I’ve shut down again and the nightmares return.

Why can’t I get past this? I am so lucky to be alive but I can’t seem to shake these feelings.

Reply: Am I making a deal out of nothing?

Hi Jess,
You are definitely “not making a big deal out of nothing.” You have experienced multiple traumas and the way you are feeling is completely normal.

I get that feeling you have of not wanting to talk to a counselor. But you need to remember that a therapist is trained to help us process these emotions we have.

My accident was in 2007 and for years I felt shut off. I was in a fireworks accident – my family and friends definitely could not relate to what I went through. I remember making the first phone call to schedule an appointment with my awesome psychotherapist and how hard it was to first talk to her. I also know I wouldn’t be doing so well without her help. There is no shame in seeking help.

Also, I suggest that you seek out a support group for trauma survivors. There can be tremendous benefits from connecting with others who “get you”. Is there a support group through your hospital?

Don’t give up!
Katy

Reply: Am I making a deal out of nothing?

Jess

Car accidents are so traumatic, I still have nightmares of the sound of crunching metal and airbags deploying, and I have to have my friends watch movies before me and let me know if I can watch them — most action movies involve car crashes.

Try to find people who understand. It’s been six months since my accident and I only now thought of finding people on the internet.

They’re out there.

Michelle

Reply: Am I making a deal out of nothing?

Hi Jess. I understand about multiple traumas….My latest trauma was not a car crash, but a fall 28 feet off of a roof. You are right…“they” do not get it…because they have not experienced it…Nor will they ever get it unless they do experience it. I understand your feelings about cars…I have those same ones about roofs. That fear, dread…the flashbacks…But…each day I get a little better….Each day the fears get a little less…What got me better was finding a group of other people who actually do “GET IT”. That is the Trauma survivors Network. There is nothing better in the world for me than talking to someone who actually gets it…

Wow…what help my friends in the TSN have been. I tried some counseling and it did not help…I think mostly because my counselor did not get it…he had never been through it himself.

You are not alone. I agree with Katy and Michelle. There are survivors out there who have been through and are going through what you experience…and we can all help each other. Keep reaching out…

Clay

Reply: Am I making a deal out of nothing?

Multiple trauma is certainly a big deal and if untreated each subsequent trauma just starts the process over again and you relive it all. Therapist are not all alike and like cologne or food its a matter of taste and what you like or feel comfortable with. You need a certified trauma counselor. I am an RN and have psychiatric experience but still sought counseling after surviving a fatal car accident. I am so glad I did. It and this website and the next steps class they offer was just another blessing to help me rebuild a life forever altered. What you are experiencing is normal and the people on this website have all been there.