Trauma Survivors Network - provided by ATS

other end

Hi, as I’m reading all of your stories, my heart brakes and I am not certain I am in the right place. But I can’t seem to find a support group that fits. I was involved in a auto vs. Pedestrian accident and I was the driver. I was heading home with my 5 yr old son afyer tricker-treating on halloween. It was the same route I take from this location at least once a week. There was no other traffic around, it was an area on a fairly busy road that was poorly lit. Before I knew it, there was a outline/almost as if it was a show of a person standing in the center of the lane I was in, it was not a cross walk and I was going 40 mph (the speed limit) I was apx 10 ft away when I saw it. It was, a women wearing all dark clothing, I could do nothing to avoid it, she is okay (thank god)
I know it was not my failt, I know there was nothing I could do, but it does not matter, I feel extremely guilty, I cannot drive the car, I have crying fits, cant concentrate and no one understands, the do not know what to say, or they just assume since she’s okay that I sure be gine! My son can’t be alone, he is scared of driving at night and I am just a mess. I guess I am just trying to find some understanding.
Thanks for listening.
God bless you all

Reply: other end

dree,

I am very sorry about your accident. I am glad both you and the other lady are ok. It’s perfectly normal for you to feel the things you are experiencing. Just because it wasn’t your fault and you couldn’t do anything doesn’t mean survivors guilt type feelings aren’t normal as well as the other flashback type things you are experiencing. You have been through a trauma and our minds react much differently to that than say grief or other stress reactions. I don’t if you read my post called life disassembled and rearranged but I am a RN that was involved in a fatal car accident that claimed the life of the 36 yr old driving the other car. the accident was so severe that she was trapped and I was unable to do anything but stand by and watch her die which to this day almost 4months later still is not acceptable to me. Your about a month out so that’s when the hard part really began for me as well with extreme anxiety, flashbacks, and survivors guilt. I suggest you google trauma counselors online in your area that will treat your son as well as you and continue on this site as it has been a lifesaver for me. We have next steps classes that are so helpful. I have done psychiatric nursing and was still unprepared for the emotions and process I was going to have to go through to take control of my life back. I can say with a lot of work it gets better and in so many ways my life is so much improved. You are not alone here. We understand.

Reply: other end

I wanted to also reiterate what “working dog girl” said about survivors guilt and trauma. You don’t have to be injured to experience a trauma. What you are feeling is normal. Posting here is just one thing that you can do to get the support you need. Look into getting help from a counselor who specializes in trauma. And take it from me, that sometimes the first counselor you meet with isn’t the right fit. It doesn’t mean counseling isn’t for you, just that counselor. Don’t give up on getting the help that you need.

Reply: other end

Oh! I forgot to to talk about pediatric trauma specialist. I was injured with my children and they both suffered from PTSD. There are counselors who work specifically with children. A book that we used at home for my youngest son (age 3 at the time of the accident) at the recommendation of his therapist was “Brave Bart: A Story for Traumatized and Grieving Chilldren” by Caroline H. Sheppard.