I hate to define myself by the trauma I have endured. Trauma isolates its victims…as least it does to me. The emotional pain can be so overwhelming too. I grieve for the life lost. The voice in my head tells me “it could be worse.” Buck up buttercup… What do you do to boost your spirits when the physical activities that once helped are not possible right now?
That is such a great question! You’re right that trauma isolates its survivors. You are certainly not alone in feeling alone. I remember finding it hard to be with friends and family again because I didn’t think anyone could understand what I had been through.
I love your statement of “Buck up buttercup…” I adopted a mantra during my recovery “You put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be dancing across the floor.”
You don’t say what your physical limitations are so I’m just going start with recommending yoga. It was recommended to me early on in my recovery and I regret that I didn’t start sooner. I was a runner prior to my accident and I really wanted to get out and run. Yoga seemed to be the total opposite of what I needed to do. Search around and see if you can find a yoga close for trauma survivors or perhaps a gentle yoga class. Our TSN is providing a yoga class for trauma survivors — you might be able to find something similar.
It is okay to grieve for the life that you thought you might have, but don’t give up on your new normal. It might just surprise you!
Thanks Katy for your input. I greatly appreciate it. I too was very active prior to the trauma. I cycled 3100 miles the year before. Sold and closed on my house while in the hospital. After being discharged from the hospital for the third time, I moved to a new, unfamiliar area, which didn’t help the isolation. I am very lucky to have an extremely supportive boyfriend. Hope life is going well for you.
I don’t know how long it has been since your trauma but it is a process and takes time, longer than we want, at least for me. You think you get ahold on it, then you experience a set back. The class they offer on here is very helpful and I am glad I took it. I think platitudes like “it could be worse” sound good in theory but aren’t necessarily helpful. You feel what you feel . You have to work through those emotions. The worst day I had was the day I realized I would always be the other person involved in a fatal car accident. That my life as I knew it was forever altered and that in itself is a loss that we grieve, but I also had faith and hope that my new life would be so much better than the old one in many ways. I do recommend a trauma counselor due to the fact that trauma and its effects are not initially known to the person experiencing them and can affect you later without having worked through it. I got counseling a week later and that has made all the difference. I agree that yoga is great. good luck
I was so naïve thinking that recovery from a trauma only consisted of the physical hurdles! My MVA happened Aug 14, 2014. Though not even close to a year out, it feels like it. Wasn’t expecting my most recent surgery of plating displaced ribs. Need 1 more surgery to repair shoulder. I am looking forward to an uneventful summer of being physical active again. Maybe I shouldn’t!?? Thanks for sharing. It has helped be work thru my demons.
So true that recovery from a trauma is so much more than the physical recovery. My accident was in July (2007) and I remember thinking “once the kids are back to school in September life will get back to normal.” Things got worse before they got better. Our physical recovery happened and then it was time for the emotional recovery. And then to have follow-up surgeries or procedures can make you feel like you are starting over again.
I don’t think one can ever prepare for catastrophic events. I have been a nurse 20 years and have watched people die every day on my job that still didn’t prepare me for being the victim of a horrific car accident that claimed someone’s life. Being personally involved changed everything. My accident was August 19th 2014 so were on a similar time table. don’t set your expectations so high that you feel defeated when you don’t reach your goals as quickly as you think you should. give your mind and body time to heal and give yourself the right to do it as quickly or as slowly as you can. one day at a time or one hour at a time sometime is all we can do and we know we aren’t promised beyond that. just try to find the joy in your life everyday and focus your mind on positive things so you won’t have so much room for negative thoughts and keep busy. being on here helped me a lot. just reading other people’s stories and sharing perspectives is so helpful. I was not an extreme athlete such as yourself but was active and exercised routinely and couldn’t do that for 6weeks. my chest wall was still bruised 6 weeks later so it is frustrating and it takes my 41 year old body a lot longer to get back in shape than my 20 year old body. LOL. I pray for quick recovery for you from your upcoming surgeries.