Having trouble coping
I was in my first car accident on December 28th, 2015 as I was leaving work. I was driving too fast and lost control of my vehicle and hit a tree. Even though I was wearing my seat belt, the tree hit my driver’s side door so hard it knocked me into the passengers seat. I remember a few moments of the accident vividly and I don’t think I’ll ever forget them, they keep me up at night and appear in my nightmares. Even thinking about the little details puts me on the verge of tears. I had to be taken to shock trauma, but I was so lucky to leave with just a broken pelvis and sacrum. I just have this feeling in my gut that I should have been injured more substantially, and I realize it is not normal to feel this way. I am on winter break from college and I feel like I am disconnected from all of my friends and the life I had before the accident. Nothing feels right anymore. I am overwhelmed with guilt for destroying the car I shared with my brother, and for putting all of this unnecessary stress on my parents, family, and friends. I feel like I did not deserve to walk away from my accident, and if it was meant to be that way, then I feel as if it is some kind of warning to me. I’ve tried to talk about my feelings to my friends but they don’t seem to understand. Although my recovery is going well (I can almost walk again) I still feel lost. I don’t know what to do about my emotions. The accident was entirely my fault, and I just want to know how to forgive myself for what I’ve done.
