Perhaps only God can answer my questions
I’d like to begin my saying I don’t feel worthy of even posting here because my injuries are nothing to compared to many I have read on the site — despite the fact my brain specialist showed me my MRI last month and said I was very lucky to still be here. But why haven’t I had even a headache? Sure, I go to physical therapy three times/week for a likely-torn rotator cuff, but that isn’t a broken fingernail by comparison to what I’ve read here.
The accident: October 22nd, met a woman I’d met once before at a karaoke bar I’d never heard of two miles from my house. At 12:30 that night, I remember taking a picture together. My next memory is seeing loved ones in the hospital three days later.
Instead of taking the $5 Uber cab home, I got in her car (even though she was also drunk) and we didn’t wear seat belts. She drove west instead of east toward my house and went through a red light, getting side-swiped by an Expedition. I’m told her vehicle slid on its right side before settling on its four wheels. I spoke to an attending policeman when I got out of the hospital a week later and he said I was communicating with him fine and that I only had a little blood coming from my eye and my nose — and that he would have dropped me off at my house had I signed a consent form.
I include that last part because according to reports, despite how “good” I seemed to him, I fell unconscious in the ambulance. And the PD’s first two reports didn’t even have my name on them, but that’s another story.
I had emergency surgery when I arrived at the hospital around 3 AM. I don’t know what I hit, but the left side of my skull was fractured, as well as my eye orbit and jaw. I barely had an abrasion, so I can only assume I hit her steering wheel, and not the windshield. The left side of my cranium was “lifted” to allow extra space for my brain to swell. A couple of bone fragments were removed from lying against my optic nerve, which is why I have lost about 97% of my vision in my left eye. 45 staples in my head later, other than doing something to my right shoulder, my only other problem is I was somehow diagnosed with shingles around my blind eye over New Year’s. So yes, many, many here have been hurt far worse than I was…and I pray for each who have lost limbs while I only lost half of my vision and the driver—who took the collision on her side of the car—broke a few ribs.I haven’t spoken to her but I hope she’s thankful.
What does bother me, however, is what I don’t know. Why do I not remember anything about the accident? I must have felt a lot of pain when it happened, but I haven’t even had a headache in the four months since. While the specialist told me the worse a brain injury is, the less headaches we have, I had other injuries/issues: Broken eye orbit, broken jaw, broken cheek bone, continued dizzy spells/lightheadedness, ringing in my head that has never stopped, problems with short-term memory and confusion/communication issues. Yet…not a single headache or pain pill taken…just “discomfort” in my shoulder from a possible tear.
Why did I get off easy, while so many here who also “should have died”, probably wish they had? Sure, something busted my head up enough to blind me in one eye. But I’ve never felt any pain other than “sensitive skin” from my surgical scar. And I wasn’t anything special before. Now I’m even less because I can’t return to my insurance job until I’m authorized by a physician. Why was I seemingly “protected” from death or even pain? I’m sorry, the question just gets to me because I can’t answer it. One of the only things I cherish from this is the fact I haven’t even desired to taste a beer or any other drink since the accident. And the other things are a few pieces of advice I can share, as obvious as they may be:
1. Wear your seat belt
2. Do not ride in a car with anyone under the influence.
3. Keep an emergency contact list on you at all times. My phone was lost during my transportation to hospital. I was out of surgery at 5 AM, yet my family only found me by accident (calling police/hospitals because I was missing) and finally arrived at the hospital at 5PM that night—12 hours after my emergency surgery. Hospitals just won’t try to find your family unless you haven’t survived.
4. From an insurance guy…add UNDER-insured motorist coverage. This might be as little as $5-$10/per month. This protects you if injured in or by another person’s vehicle. And most states don’t have stacking rules…meaning if you have two cars with this coverage (let’s say $50k/$100K) and you’re injured, you can collect what you’re entitled to under each vehicle. Take a few minutes and see how much it’d cost you to increase your coverage. In December, I had a good company. $50/$100 with UN-insured and UNDER-insured coverage. I changed to another good company. I went to $100/$300 with UN and UNDER and added $5K for Medical Payments. My monthly payment went DOWN $15 per month for more than double the coverage. Take 20 mins, call your company and see how much you’d increase (or even save) your monthly payment by adding coverage. Especially UNDER-insured.
All the best to our survivors and to those who care for their injured loved ones.
