Does it ever get any easier
Was in a car accident with my bestfriend two months ago. Wasn’t wearing my seatbelt, do my head hit the windshield and the airbag hit my face. They had to drag me out and cut my bloody clothes off of me and put me on a board with a cone around my neck. Was rushed to the local small town hospital and they told me that the entire right side of my face was shattered, my sinus was shattered, my orbital bone, face was burned by chemicals in airbag, and that my eye was open and that I would lose it. I was life flighted to Emory hospital in Atlanta for treatment. I was there for days, and they told me that I would keep my eye but I’d never see out of it again. My bestfriend walked away from the wreck with a bruise on her arm and has ignored me since. I have good days and bad days, days where I can get out of bed, fake a smile. And I have days that I can’t leave my bed. I know that things could have been much worse. And I’m lucky I survived but I can’t stop hearing the crunching metal, feeling the airbag punching hitting me over and over. Every time I close my eyes I remember reaching up to my face, feeling my skin moving, melting under my fingers. Blood coming from my nose, my eye, my skin.I’m so tired, can’t sleep because of the nightmares. I sleep 4-6 hours every two days. I’m only 17, but at my worst I wish I had died that night. I have nobody, the bestfriend, the person I needed most abandoned me “because I’m not as fun”. It’s so hard to talk about, makes me cry and makes me sick….but my counselor thinks it’ll be good for me to connect on here since I used to be big on social media. I just want to go back to normal. I never used to be so sad. I just want to get better.
