MVA car vs train
On September 2 2016 on way home from work me my fiance and his son were driving down a county Rd and our suburban was struck by a train. My fiance and I were life flighted to the nearest trauma center while his 20yr old son was released from the scene with minor scratches. Our vehicle was drug and then flipped end over end nearly 100 ft. I was ejected from the vehicle and have suffered amnesia related to the accident which they say is part of the PTSD. I spent almost a week in hospital while my fiance was there a month. He spent a couple weeks in a coma and was on a ventilator for 3 weeks. We are both slowly healing from our physical injuries and have more surgeries to come. But my physical problems are nothing compared to the mental hell I live in every day! I was diagnosed with PTSD a month ago and put on some medications which I don’t feel are working. I can’t seem to get it all out of my head between the dreams nightmares flash backs and everything else. And all the time I’m either angry as hell or sad there’s no in-between. The Dr. I’m seeing wants to tell me it’s all in my fear of dying but I’m not afraid to die I know that it’s just a part of life and we all will die at some point and because of my religious beliefs I look forward to seeing all my lost loved ones in heaven again. So it frustrates the heck out of me cause he doesn’t get it or so it seems. Has me reading post traumatic stress for dummies. And it’s stupid why do I need to read all this stuff I’m living everyday. It’s not helping. And what I don’t understand is how my fiance who was near death can come out of all this and not seem really affected at all. He doesn’t get me either just tells me I need to get over it and it’s all mind over matter and need to face my fears?! Which I don’t know what it is I’m afraid of really. Besides all this causing so much turmoil in our relationship that we aren’t going to make it. I’m so grateful that we all lived but in the course of the accident we lost our home because we haven’t been able to work and so we moved in with my parents, my animals have been placed with my fiance family and I’ve only been able to see them once since the accident, I haven’t been able to work and having to rely on donations from our church and other friends and family and lost our vehicle and that makes me angry and sad but mostly angry. My fiance was driving and sometimes I find myself wanting to blame him but he was only driving because I told him I was too tired so then I want to blame myself, and all this is tied up in litigation and we weren’t the ones at fault so I know neither of us are to blame. But I just don’t know. I feel so lost and alone and misunderstood and like I’m never going to get my life back. Not sure why I’m even posting all this maybe somebody can shed some light or hope or actually relate and understand what I’m going thru.
