TBI, 2 years ago from snowboarding accident
Hi all! Let me first say that this community and publication have been invaluable to me as I start this journey. Reading and seeing other people’s accounts with TBI and trauma in general, has been a godsend. You see, I am still a relative “newbie”… in year two of a newly diagnosed TBI. First, a little about me: I am in my mid-50s, a husband to a wonderful wife, and a father to one, wonderful 18yo girl. I guess you could say pre-accident that I was generally a “man’s man”. I liked to compete in outrigger canoe, dragon boat, and have represented the U.S. at a world-class level (Australia, China, and throughout Europe to name a few). I used to paddle my outrigger miles offshore in the ocean….especially after hurricanes on the east coast because the surfing was better. I liked to snowboard, bike ride (I did a couple of “century” rides), surf, target shoot, and train in MMA. I played the ukulele, guitar, and hand drums (congas, cajones, etc.) I worked out probably 6 days a week and was generally healthier than guys half my age! I did a lot of the cooking (especially grilling in the summer), I did my own landscaping (receiving many accolades from the neighbors for my yard) and home improvements (replaced all of the windows in my turn of the century house to name one project). I worked as a science writer in the past and most recently as a Clinical Specialist in a neuro-ICU for probably 15 +/- years (I studied Nursing). This all came to a screeching halt last March. I was up snowboarding in Vermont with an ex-special forces friend. I remember arriving and taking a couple of runs….. that’s it! “Reportedly” I wiped out and hit a tree! They thought I was dead at the scene! I was medevac’d by chopper to a trauma center in New Hampshire. Here, I was intubated (eventually trached), placed in a “halo” vest, and had a feeding tube and PICC line inserted. My wife was driven up by a good friend. I spent…. I am told, approximately 2-3 weeks there. My wife now tells me that all of the staff in the ICU were great…. they related to me as a fellow “ICUer” and felt it could be anyone of them lying there. I was driven by ambulance with my wife at my side to a rehabilitation hospital closer to where we lived. My wife informs me that as I started to have trouble during the long ride back, that I informed the ambulance personnel that I was dehydrated and that they should hang an IV. They did and I improved. I don’t remember. My first recollection was probably about into the second week of rehab. Suffice it to say, the staff including the nurses, aides, respiratory therapists, PTs, OTs, and Speech therapists were all wonderful. I spent about 3-4 months there…with short stints to the regular hospital (where I worked mind you) for an infection, etc. Even though I could go up on the roof deck at rehab to get fresh air, I LONGED to be “outside”. I was diagnosed with “DAI” (diffuse axonal injury), possible cervical spine damage, and a possible brachial plexus injury to my right arm. I had severe right-sided weakness, speech difficulties, and double vision (all of which I’m still struggling with today). I was mostly confined to a wheelchair but used a cane during PT. Special glasses were made for me to aid in the severe double vision. Suffice it to say, the Halo and cervical collar eventually came off (ligament damage had healed), and the PICC, trach, and feeding tube were eventually removed. I was getting ready to go HOME! I’ve been home now since August (a year and a half ago). I still go to outpatient PT, OT and speech therapies. My thoughts on being home…. IT’S WONDERFUL! The first thing I did was say hello to my dog. He really missed me! I have made it a point to get outside everyday. Even if it’s -5 degrees wind chill! My wife has been great! She allows me to “test my wings” as it were without hindering me (although if you ask her, she was probably a little leery with some of the things I did). I’ve climbed a few rungs on a ladder and blew leaves off of my porch roof; I’ve hung a bannister (with my wife’s help) downstairs to the basement, I’ve gotten the yard ready for winter (pulled and tied up shrubs, etc.); I’ve grilled chicken and salmon outside, and I’ve taken the trash and recyclables out to the curb…albeit SLOWLY to name a few. All of these things make me feel Alive….like I’m contributing something! My point to YOU as caregivers…let your loved one try things…as long as they’re safe. They need to feel useful and that they can STILL make a contribution! Those things I’m most proud of are: learning to use chopsticks with my left hand; changing a thermostat and light switch with my daughters and wife’s help; I was also ecstatic when I didn’t need the wheelchair, the commode, or hospital bed any longer; I was very happy when I could take a shower “standing up” instead of in a shower chair; AND I’m very happy to say that I haven’t fallen even though I’m still quite wobbly! I DO have bad days and times. Particularly before bed and when I wake up. You see, I still see myself as being able to do all of the old things in my dreams. It is a rude awakening to wake up to Reality! Some things I hope will improve: I hope my voice improves so I don’t sound like I’m drunk all the time. People tell me it’s improving. We’ll see. I hope my feeling or sensation will get more back to normal…especially sensitivity to the cold (I always feel like I’m burning or heavy on the right side). I’d like to be able to drive again for I DO miss it. I hope when it gets nice that I can walk around the block without looking like I’m struggling (with or without the cane), and I eventually hope I can run and bike again! Some of the videos out there give me heaps of encouragement in this regard. Everyone going through this wants to know, “does it get better”? I wanted to know! If you ask people who’ve seen me at my worst, the answer is a resounding “YES”! If you ask me…I don’t know?? …as I sit here plinking away with one hand/finger. I know I won’t be able to do some of the things I used to be able to do. That’s okay. I just hope I can do some of the things, take some of the trips that those…years out…can do. Oh well, one day at a time!
