Trauma given at 2 and a half years old.
I had a suppressed memory come back to me after my father passed on January 6, 2016. I was lied to as a child. My mother kept the mistake my two older sisters made for 28 years. I received a scar on my head and was told I gave it to myself running around. They showed me the table they claimed I bumped my head on and It is literally impossible to have the large scar I have on my forehead from this table. After my father passed, whom I loved dearly and was the only sense of home to me in this abusive upbringing, I recalled a sharp memory of how my two sisters (8 to 16 years older than I am) picked me up out of the crib and played catch with me. After 10 toss backs I couldn’t breathe and felt highly uncomfortable and tried to scream to let me go but at the speed they were throwing me I couldn’t vocalize. My middle sister motioned for my other sister to move out the way and she chucked me into the 8foot dresser that had a sharp edge and I halted there for 3 seconds and dragged down to the floor where I was still dizzy and bleeding profiously. I was only 2 and a half. I woke up in ER with my fathers eyes gazing over me and then they stitched me up. I feel stupid for being lied to all these years for the sake of them to be off the hook(no pun intended) After that they still used many reasons to abuse me physically and verbally. They have their own insecurity issues being bulimic and fat. For years I’ve had to endure their torture, while they own up to no wrongdoing. They overuse their powerless power and won’t even fork an apology at a decent time to let me mend. They have bullied me and for years people in school made comments about my face looking like a cracked egg and I truly felt over ashamed of myself. My dad was the only sense of nurture, you could see the sadness in his eyes when he’d look at my face but he wouldn’t speak on the issue. He tried to teach all of us values of god and good deeds. I took them closer after making mistakes, so I could change. No family should corner a young lady and beat her for small fines just because they’re facing their own issues. It’s inhumane. I brought it up to my sisters and caught them admitting to it in another confrontation the oldest always starts a problem with me, while in fight and flight mode she admittted to it claiming she’d do it again if she had to. I’m basically tired of this cycle and hope one day to separate from them soon and lead my own life far from their control or words. They both live out of the house but visit 10 times in the year and it’s the same nonsense. Building a new tomorrow slowly but surely. I pray for all of you all to find peace and keep strength.
