Confused by emotional swings
I was in a very serious MVA June 8, 2017. I looked away from the road, crossed the center line on a two lane highway and nearly had a full head on collision with a semi. Driver of the semi swerved just in time to save my life (he had some minor injuries but from what I’ve been told is fine). I suffered a compound fracture of the left femur and two other minor fractures in the left leg (fibula and sitting bone). I also nearly lost my left hand and did a LOT of nerve damage. The hand is about where it is going to end up healing wise….there may still be more nerve regeneration/healing and there may not be. However, I’m ok with that…I can still use my left hand for just about everything I need it for (I would say I have 85% use as an estimate). My leg however, is really starting to worry me. Little background info on me. I was working two full time jobs at the time and have been used to working a minimum of 60 hours a week for the 10 years leading up to the accident. I went from 80 hours a week to 0 in a heartbeat. It has been very rough psychologically for me. I am back to working 16-20 hours a week so it has helped some. However, I have insanely wild mood/emotional swings even now nearly a year since the accident. I will go from being completely upbeat no matter what I face to feeling all hope is lost…in a matter of hours. Today is a perfect example. I was upbeat nothing was bothering me, not even getting cussed at by a customer for something I had no control over. I was still smiling and cheerful as ever. Tonight, I don’t know what happened but it was like a switch got flipped. I have lost all interest in everything tonight. I couldn’t watch anything on tv, couldn’t play any games on the computer or elsewhere, couldn’t read….well I COULD but I had zero interest. I’m just curious if that is normal for someone in my situation. To go from on top of the world to feeling there is no hope and having no interest in things the person enjoys so rapidly. It goes the other way just as quickly. I can go from feeling like I’d been better off dying to being the life of the party in no time at all. I don’t really have any friends (with working as much as I always have, where is the time for friends?) except people I worked with and they have their own lives to go on with. I miss them and while I understand they have their lives, I do often feel I’ve been forgotten (which adds to the apathy and feelings of hopelessness). I would so dearly appreciate anyone with any words to help me with this struggle. The few friends I do have (none I see face to face….don’t have any of those friends) are all at a loss on what to say to me when I go through the downswings and I don’t want to bring them down bc they don’t deserve that. Thank you to anyone who replies.
