In a little over a month, Colleges, Universities, Technical Schools, and Career Training Centers will welcome their newest students to their classrooms. This milestone is a big step for most students and families, but for families that have experienced pediatric trauma, it can feel extra heavy. Family may feel anxious about the student moving away or have concerns about their growing independence. Students may be excited, but worry about not having their usual safety net.
Fortunately, we have some tips and advice to help make the transition to higher education smoother for all members of the family.
Tips for Students
Prepare What You Want to Share
Going away to school often means meeting a new group of people. From roommates to classmates, instructors and coaches, there may be a lot of people who you need to tell about your injury. You may need to consider what you want to disclose to others and what you want to keep to yourself.
If you have visible reminders of your injury, you may be asked questions you’ve never been asked before. Unlike your community at home, who were there for your injury and recovery journey, the people at school will know nothing about it and ask uncomfortable questions. Having canned responses can help you feel more confident for these social situations.
Be Your Own Advocate
There are resources available at your school that help support you, but you may have to be the one advocating for them. Sit down with your family and develop a list of what areas you see yourself struggling with or needing more support. Use that list as a basis to reach out to your school before the academic year starts. You may be able to set up accommodations around housing, transport, or academics. For instance, if you need to regularly refill medications or attend appointments, you can get medical exemptions to have a car on campus or see if other transport options are available through the school.
Having supports and accommodations in place can make the first semester less stressful and the transition to independence smoother. Reaching out before the semester starts can help the start of the school year go smoother.
Find Your Community
Depending on where you go to school, you may feel disconnected from your current community. There are ways to build community, and fortunately most schools promote this for new students through socials, clubs, and other activities.
For injury survivors, you can also look to see if there is a TSN program near your school. Many pediatric survivors connect with the TSN near their college to be peer visitors or part of the injury survivor community.
“The transition to college as a survivor can be incredibly difficult, but it is ultimately one of the most rewarding experiences you will go through. In the beginning, certain aspects of campus life, academics, or daily routines might feel entirely overwhelming or even impossible. But if you take it day by day, practicing those hard things, you will adapt. Before you know it, the things that once felt like massive hurdles will become second nature. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and navigating this journey might just lead you to a newfound purpose in life. College is truly the one place where you can decide who you want to be, so take advantage of all the opportunities, or even create your own.” ~Vansh
Support for Families
“I feel like, as adults, we really do dwell on the past a lot more than kids do. Adults tend to think about the “what ifs,” whereas children live in the present. Many of these traumatic injuries are incredibly rare events, not everyday occurrences. So the chance of them happening again are really pretty small. My daughter’s tells us all the time – don’t dwell on the past, let me live. I can’t live in fear.” ~Jennifer
Scout Ahead
If your kid still needs follow up care or specialized appointments, you can feel more confident by identifying specialists at nearby hospitals or medical centers. Your current trauma team may be able to directly connect you with other providers. Depending on your child and their medical needs, you can also consider having power of attorney or HIPAA releases prepared to assist with access to medical records and ability to medical decisions after they turn 18.
Even if your child doesn’t need additional medical support, knowing how close the nearest trauma center is and learning more about their resources can help put worries to rest. Even having an emergency plan in place for where your student will receive care and how quickly you can reach them can make parents and caregiver feel more at ease.
Prepare them to Advocate
Your kid has had you by their side so far, ready to advocate and support them. With this new transition and more independence, it will be time for them to advocate for themselves. Have discussions around their injury and recovery to ensure they are knowledgable about their medical history and physical health. You may want prepare medical records or a medical summary they can easily access.
Helping your child be prepared and knowledgable, knowing they have the capability to self-advocate, can reduce fears or anxieties.
Don’t Let your Worries Limit Them
As their parent, guardian, or caregiver, you will worry about your kid. Your family having survived a trauma can add to those worries and anxieties. It important that your concerns do not negatively influence your child’s life. Try to allow them to grow and explore new situations without being weighed down by their past injury.
If you need an outlet for your own emotions, consider joining a family and caregiver support group through the TSN or finding a trauma-informed therapist. Building your own skillset to manage your worries will allow you to be a better support for your child in this new stage of life.